KYLE: Still making videos for the internet.
It's been a wild November, a heck of a November.
all had gargantuan launches.
Yeah, one of those games is the second best reviewed game of the year
and two of those games simply are not.
But they got the numbers to prove 'em.
God of War Ragnarok, at 5.1 million units sold so far,
is the newest fastest-selling first party PlayStation game.
Yeah, that's faster than Spider-Man.
Pokemon Scarlet and Violet sold 10 million in 3 days.
Sonic Frontiers?
We're not as sure about
but hey, it's the fastest-selling Sonic game in Japan and
set a series concurrent record for players on Steam.
So, for the sake of this video,
Sonic Frontiers' success is equally undeniable.
And that makes three games and that makes a trend.
And then, obviously, you're asking,
"Why did these games sell so well?"
Now, we all know, I'm not an expert.
If anything, I'm more of a professional reactor.
So I don't have the answer.
I have ideas. I have theories.
But I don't really know which one to go with.
So today, we're gonna play:
[HONK]
[HONK]
[HONK]
What I have is 6 equally viable theories.
We're going to apply those to each of the 6 sides of a 6-sided die.
At the end of the episode, we're gonna roll that die
and whatever it lands on will be my official answer to the question:
Why DID these games sell so well?
Theory 1:
Buying a game digitally is not just about the convenience,
that it's more convenient than going to a store and finding the box on a shelf.
It's dangerously easy now. It's so slippery, it's-- It's like--
I don't know if you could log in to your PlayStation or your Switch
without being forcefully aware that there's a new God of War or Pokemon out right now.
Click here. Buy here. You got it-- You got it now.
It's-- It's-- It's like I feel primed. I feel primed to buy.
I feel like an ape in a cage
and they're doing an experiment. They have a little TV in front of me
and whenever there's a banana on the screen, I just slap my red button
and I get my banana.
I just-- I feel like there's no thought anymore.
Just like the ape, it took training to get me here,
but at this point, it's raw instinct.
I remember a week before God of War Ragnarok came out,
I was just on my PlayStation's front page, the Home page, right?
And there was a full-page ad and it said,
"Last chance to pre-order."
And I thought, "Oh my gosh, I better get on that."
And I, like-- I-- I-- I did it. I preordered.
I slapped the red button. I don't understand
why that worked.
Theory 2:
I did point this out last week but I think it's worth reiterating.
The new Pokemon game is low grade.
Technically speaking, it is
ripped up corn dog meat haphazardly splashed all over your screen.
It is the worst reviewed mainline Pokemon game ever.
But
it is different. There's enou--
There's enough different there.
They added a l-- More than usual,
they added a lot of new Pokemon, disgusting as they may be.
But I think what's most observably different about this game is that
it's a Pokemon game where you can seek out your objectives
in any order you choose, kind of.
It's kind of like Breath of the Wild, the best-selling Zelda game of all time.
Sonic Frontiers is kind of like Breath of the Wild too,
if you take your glasses off.
So what I'm saying is that,
this'll sound crazy but maybe these sales results
are because these games are genuinely interesting.
Like maybe-- Maybe they're selling so well because they're fun, possibly.
Or, another theory, and, I mean, we're all thinkin' it:
Simulated fatherhood.
Living out some fantasized revision of school-aged childhood.
Sonic the Hedgehog is the ideal baby.
I can't be the only one who sees this, can I?
Theory 4:
So the thought here is that there's no discernible difference
between Norco
and Quiz Thiz USA.
The thinking here is that because we are inundated with so many options,
that there are so many video games out there
that the old stalwarts shine.
They're not only more dependable, seemingly, but
they're more relevant.
It's like how, with each new year that
an American Idol winner becomes immediately forgotten,
the power of Kelly Clarkson grows.
We love our icons.
Sonic.
Kratos.
Flaaffy.
It's normal to play their games.
You can talk about those games with a friend.
You can feel like you're part of something
when you're playing those games.
Think about how isolating it would feel to play Succubus With Guns.
"Hey, you got any plans this weekend?
Succubus With Guns? I haven't heard of that.
Is it--? Yeah, I'll--
Okay. Show me.
Okay, this seems
bad.
If-- If you're
horny,
there's--
There's other stuff out there for you to see.
Okay."
Theory 5:
We also have to consider the possibility that
these momentous sales figures actually aren't that momentous, relatively.
Like, it's like when the NFL added an extra game onto the season,
any season-long record becomes less impressive.
"Good job, you had a whole other game to do that in."
Similarly, with the PS4s and PS5s selling as they do,
how could a new God of War not be the best-selling one
in franchise history? How could it not?
I don't know if you knew this, dear viewer:
there was no Steam when Sonic 2 came out.
And finally, theory 6:
A televised commercial with even a seated LeBron James
is guaranteed to sell your product at least 3 million units.
It's a guar-- Lock it in.
So what we have here are three publishers,
three publicly traded businesses,
that NEEDED these three games to succeed
in order for their businesses to look strong.
So they spent a lot of money on ads.
Stop thinkin' about this so hard, Kyle.
And with that, it is now time to:
[HONK]
[HONK]
[HONK] What I have here is a
very normal 6-sided die, as you can see.
What I'm gonna do is give it a good shake--
Oh no!
Uhh...
Okay, I guess we can just go with theory 7:
That's MY theory anyway.
That's Delayed Input. Thanks for watching.
An interesting headline appeared this week on a website called DEX.EXE:
DEX.EXE claims that an anonymous developer
forwarded a dev letter from Sony Interactive which stated that
there will be a new policy to ban those cheap trophy games.
I have to be honest with you, I don't readily trust a website
that repeatedly refuses to innercap PlayStation.
But obviously, I'm obligated to bring this up
because just a few months ago,
we did a whole episode about these particular types of games.
PAST KYLE: "Nuggets were created by a scientist."
KYLE: But strangely, this site seems to be the only source for this story
and, as you can see,
Jumping Tofu is still up on that store, loud and proud.
So we'll have to wait and see.
But you probably do now have a new question:
"Why did you do that whole bit about that succubus game
when Furry Tangram Lite is right there?"
Great question. Now, I feel like
even anyone who loves furries can tell there's something wrong
with this game.
But at the same time, I'm not here to make easy furry jokes
and I feel like it would've been misinterpreted that way.
A lot of thought went into picking which bad game to make fun of.
Like, Run Sausage Run! feels like that would be a funny punchline,
but you look at it and I hate this shit that's like,
"Look at our little Trump sausage."
So yeah, it wasn't a dart throw.
I was carefully selecting Succubus With Guns.
And now I realize you might have a new question.
You may have noticed that, yes, I did, in fact, purchase:
DISTORTED VO: I'm positive that once you find me,
we can assist the kingdom with its problems.
It will take a savior to save the kingdom!
KYLE: I don't know what to tell you.
Ape see banana, ape press red button.