duolingo offers 36 language courses for
english speakers to learn
this means that there are 36 possible
speed runs to complete
i made this spreadsheet here to select a
random language from the list
now i already speak one and a half and a
quarter languages
american four years of high school
spanish and my middle school we have
phase so we'll be excluding those
languages from the list bringing us to a
solid 33 languages to choose from
to be honest some of these aren't even
real languages hi valerian
klingon french who made this website i
swear to god
i'll choose the language by assigning
each a random number then using a random
number generator to select the course
i'm gonna take
the speed run begins at the very first
placement test in order to get the
fastest possible time i've come up with
these ideal conditions
1. the language has to be written in the
latin alphabet if we get russian
mandarin or god forbid klingon we're
going to lose a lot of time in the
beginning struggling just to read the
website
2. the language has to be in the romance
language family
most languages in this family share
similar grammar and vocabulary
so my ability to understand espanol
would come in handy and of course we
should be gucci if i get a language like
dutch or german which are very similar
to english
with those conditions that leaves about
eight languages of course i'm really
holding out for
german or italian because those will be
the easiest for me by far
the languages that i think will be the
most difficult are probably arabic
mandarin hebrew and hindi because of the
pronunciation and writing systems
of course i'm also trying to avoid
[ __ ] klingon what the [ __ ] why is
this language here someone please get
rid of it
the speedrun will be finished when i've
completed all of the activities under
the first checkpoint
i'll try to skip ahead by taking a
placement test at the beginning of the
run
the placement test will allow me to skip
a lesson saving me from playing through
the same exercise five times
this will definitely come in handy also
i am so sorry if i completely butcher
your language this is all for fun and
games don't trend me on twitter okay i
still got so much life left in me okay
let's start
hmm
let's go yes
oh my god thank you thank you thank you
it's gonna be easy world record duolingo
let's [ __ ] do this um i guess we
should do
get started i want to learn
dutch it's gonna be easy it's gonna be
[ __ ] lit
why are you learning a language why job
opportunities school
culture brain training family and
friends
travel other does speed running count as
other i mean
yeah a daily goal listen my daily goal
is to crush this [ __ ]
i don't think it's gonna take me [ __ ]
a day intense
intense yes new to dutch already knows
some dutch
you know what we're gonna start at the
placement test because this will
hopefully help us skip ahead like a lot
it takes about five minutes
oh [ __ ] i don't know begin the speed
run then in
three two one
start test she is a child
um kind
z you know what that one starts with the
capital letter i'mma guess that that's
that
oh [ __ ] newspaper
oh i am a god the netherlands better
watch out
oh my god another one i swear my memory
is that of a goldfish i cannot
a woman wow
wow that's a word that is a word that's
a powerful word that's an
s-tier word damn
which of these could be juice water
maybe
sap brood bent
pet
sap that sounds the most the closest to
juice other than water
but i don't think it'd be water oh
look at that [ __ ] wait they didn't even
give me a day day
the they didn't even give me one of
those how was i supposed to get that
right
ain young
that one i never will be able to
pronounce it this is an f tier war
if vow is an a tier word or an s tier
even
then this one is like an f tier because
it's just too much going on you know
yeah i speak dutch
i do i'm going to after this
holy [ __ ] let's see let's see let's see
let's start from the basics excuse me
i did all that [ __ ] for naught come on
bro how long did that take
oh my god that took 10 minutes oh
we're gonna this is gonna take forever
okay
okay okay it's okay we'll recover we
will recover
i eat oh that is not
maybe i need to take english instead of
dutch
you drink milk look at me go
look at me go you are the man
um [ __ ] i've forgotten every right after
i said that i forgot everything
my brain just went empty bent
okay did we finish did we finish oh
[ __ ] bro one lingat
lingard oh my god we did it we did it
what's our time what's our time
15 minutes it only took me five minutes
okay okay let's [ __ ] go
we drinking water and we eat some rice
it's gotta spit in bars nikki be jealous
you
eat a
boat oh that's another s t
voter huh that's an s to your word right
there that's powerful
both are
that sounds um maybe i should be careful
about pronouncing that one huh
yeah yeah the boys
the boys me and the boys really out here
learning dutch look at me go have i
gotten any wrong
i don't think so what queen i'm just i'm
just so good at this
mindy oh
okay not going to lie dutch kind of
spits bars
he's got like a kind of a bounce to it
like oh ooh the kinder than eighteen
iced oh my god look at me go
are we almost done with this yes we are
okay okay okay okay
moving on moving on moving on phrases
one
ooh it's the same as the other one
i'm so glad i didn't get mandarin or
something because we would be it would
be
[ __ ] out of luck if we got mandarin i'm
just saying right now like oh
imagine me trying to pronounce like i
don't oh
up for a challenge wager i don't even
know what that
seven more days i don't think this is
gonna take seven days
i really hope it doesn't
okay please this is the s-tier word
if i [ __ ] this up
the pressure div oh [ __ ] i messed up
no
i am so sorry i will commit supuku
redemption devout
oh thank god that is a
child oh it is a child
that's worse than what i wrote duolingo
i honestly i have no idea what this
grammar is i'm just
literally trying to memorize the same
questions oh um
look how [ __ ] look at me go i like
already know dutch
i'm already fluent why even why even
bother
you know when i'm this good okay
so let's just get an idea where we're at
right now it's been 30 minutes
and i've done
wait did i really just yo i just did the
same
oh no
and this kids is why we take our adhd
medicine
anyways maybe i just wasn't born
to be a speedrunner and that's okay
some of us are just not we're just not
you know
and the duolingo owl knows this that's
why
yeah dunked and goodbye period
thanks bye oh my god that's so harsh
i love that the donked it's so it's got
power
behind it the donked which is the other
one
both are ham the dog did boater hum
very similar yet so different you know
which one looks like evening
bedand that's all i know all girls
after 1999 know is boulder hum
brow and bedankt let's be real
whoa that
i can't even begin
to pronounce that oh she believed
see duolingo is great for like flash
cards but it doesn't teach you things
like how how would i know
i'm just memorizing like if i were to go
to
the netherlands and be like yeah
and just talk like duolingo everyone
would just be like excuse me
are you okay are you having a stroke
just don't know i i see
why it's good for like schools and stuff
because it's good to have like
kids do something in class yeah but like
am i really learning dutch with duolingo
i don't
i don't think so i i am sorry correct
see duolingo knows what's up i am sorry
goodbye
i'm gonna be using that one a lot too
what is neg what is neg
lesson there's only one there's only one
okay let's go remember when i said that
the grammar
was going to be easy on this yeah
i was obviously confused i was
delusional i was deluded
to think that this would be easy now i
know now i know why couldn't i have just
gotten like
italian man i could have just is that
really what that means
are not an apple what
no what the [ __ ] i do i know i'm not an
apple i
okay which of these should we do first
how are we doing on time it's been 41
minutes
it's the slowest speed run of all time
no he is not a human
oh okay the animal
dear do deer means animal what kind of
animals do they have in the netherlands
what lives there i mean people
weed what else do they got in the
netherlands boats
ocean i don't know i guess they don't
see a lot of animals there i mean those
clearly if they think are all deer that
is a horse
how much you want to bet oh let's go
that is a horse yes duolingo yes
the rhinoceros wait nose horn nose horn
oh that's great the nose horn is eating
an
apple oh my god
oh my god thank you i'm just
did noise horn having horn and start yes
i [ __ ] that that was so bad i'm so
sorry
why are they giving me these hard ones
the nose horn have the horn in and in
start
the nose horn have to horn and then
start
wow
wow okay oh my god it's really gonna
make me do this
the nose horn heft and horn it didn't
start
was that not was that not
oh my god it's really going to just make
me do
stop nose horn i don't the noise horn
heft in horn and in start
the noise horn hyped in horn it didn't
start
not level oh thank god i can get away
from the nose horn
mr nose horn please don't know
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
are we speaking dutch
or english unfortunately we're speaking
dutch right now which is not good for me
it may be good for you duolingo but i'm
kind of struggling at the moment
is the girl eating no she is not eating
that is too much for me to write
oh [ __ ] i was so close i just had one
wrong
is the girl eating no she's not i just
did this but i don't remember
uh i think it i think i think
oh i had the wait
oh i just totally forgot the my [ __ ]
part i don't
why did i you can do it no duo i can't i
just can't
is the girl eating okay my chance to
redeem myself okay
ate neat oh my god
thank god oh here we go drink a japanese
what drinks is up nay she drink his
drink
oh no please don't make me do this 10
times like the nose horn
i can't take it books are
not food they're food for the brain am i
right
am i right
oh my god oh my god okay okay depart and
drink and butter
i love that i think does vator is it on
the same level as both durham
vrau and what was the other one again
world no broad is not on there bread no
no
no no water i think vatra goes up there
it's pretty powerful
it's been an hour ten and we haven't
even finished the first one yet
though i guess if we're being realistic
though like i'm trying to learn a whole
ass
language in like under six hours maybe
do i think that this is gonna take
i don't know how long this is gonna take
i realistically think that this is
probably gonna take
like three hours four hours but i was
kind of hoping that the placement test
would carry me through this
which clearly i failed the first
placement test and it put me 15 minutes
behind
so what
what um okay
clogs what what why would i need to
clogs i mean i guess crocs are clogs but
crocs aren't from
the netherlands where are crocs from
aren't they from like italy
they're manufactured in italy well my
add is kicking up i can't be doing this
for any longer
present oh my god there's six in this
one let me go to the bathroom before we
start this
i'm gonna be right back okey dokeys i
have returned
after chasing my dog around the [ __ ]
house so we were on
an hour fifteen and it took us an hour
fifteen to do one two
three four five six seven eight nine
ten ten [ __ ] lessons ugh
i don't think just a thought here
i don't think duolingo was like
meant to be speed run you know
some things just aren't the apples are
walking
what what does joe and lingo think
apples are whoa
that was crazy bro nope yay
i was poking fun at him oh my god i've
earned so much xp
i'm such a god we slap please be slap
oh we sleep i slap
she sleeps we all sleep together
do not want horses i
kind of do want a horse would i call
myself a horse girl
i think i've ridden a horse like once it
was okay
would i want a horse no i wouldn't so
you know
duolingo is kind of right oh i just did
this one i just did this i
i can't remember i legitimately just
my brain is empty it's completely empty
i've been
learning dutch for too long it's still
not sunk in though
at all it's just going in one ear and
going out the other one
oh god bless are we done are we done
please say that we're done please
please please please please please we
have one more
we haven't
another s cheer i'm telling you i think
water really is as here
i think it's up there with both um and
rao
i do not know the woman i do not know
her i pretend i do not see
eden let's go let's go we finished
present
and now we're almost done with this we
just got adjectives
and objective pronouns i think you are
groot you are groot do you think that
groot
whoa wait a minute wait a minute wait a
minute was groot
in guardians of the galaxy
named after the dutch word for big
oh my god holy [ __ ] bro the connections
the connections my brain i can feel it i
can feel it enlarging look at me go
oh my god i'm learning new things
oh my god thank you duolingo for
enlightening me
i am big ik
true a big girl is eating a big sandwich
i feel called out i feel called out is
this right i'm just going off of what i
know in spanish where this comes from
yeah oh it's the other way around okay
so when you when you're describing
something it's like english
so the adjective comes the adjective
okay okay okay so it's like english i
got it i gotta know
oh [ __ ] i [ __ ] i [ __ ] it up again i
did i do the same exact thing
after i was like wow i finally
understand
and then i just
wow great job me oh another fun word
long zom you are slow
i um i feel called out i feel very
called out
i have a slow goose
what is your goosey who's trying to read
i don't what are you trying to do with
your goose
how do you judge if a goose is fast or
slow
yeah you are slow not anymore [ __ ]
i say as i proceed to do this
slowly a bad rabbit bugs bunny is that
you
bugs bunny from space jam actually
wasn't he good in that movie
i don't know oh the news horn my
absolute enemy the nose horn
the nose horn is strong
he's not stronger than me i will not let
him best me again
because i am thirsty i am weak oh come
on hey
hey that's not fair the difficult
book is long much like this speed run is
going to be
whole milk ew what kind of what kind of
plebians are you
two percent baby that's where it's at
not fat free though fat-free milk sucks
it tastes like water english is
important true so is dutch though all
languages really
except for klingon klingon not very
important the
animal is interesting not the nose horn
though the noise horn
can like suck my dick i hate the nose
horn people are like sheep
mmm i feel threatened i feel pretty
threatened
here not gonna lie yes yes yes if we
finish that one okay
and just two of these and then we'll see
how well we're doing
[Music]
wait wait did we finish the first
section entirely could we have
nice wait
what the [ __ ] oh now i have to complete
the checkpoint
it's been an hour 43.
wish me luck this is going to be the
most intense
moment of my life right here checkpoint
one
[ __ ] let's go
for the record it took us [ __ ] an
hour 44.
hmm well
you know
so i mean i got an hour 45 which if you
count up all
the lessons that's 13 lessons in an hour
45
i mean is that horrible
i don't know and plus i feel like i
really [ __ ] up at the beginning
placement test like that didn't go well
at all i should have just jumped
straight into learning because i would
have cut down probably like that whole
15 minutes in the beginning but
do i know more dutch than i did at the
beginning of this
yes i know what a nose horn is now i
know that i hate
nose horns now and i know that i
would start a religion around the boater
huh it's such a good word that's such a
fire word oh my goodness but in
all seriousness this was really cool to
do because
it truly helped me
learn a little bit more than i would on
an unusual day you know like
do a lingo say what you want about it
like i did earlier that it's not the
greatest for learning languages but
it is pretty good if you just want to
get a little basic understanding like if
you have a field trip if you have a
vacation to another country this is
probably perfect for you because you can
learn things pretty fast i mean i
learned
a lot in only an hour 45
so yeah i mean good job me i obviously
stay
stay winning because i'm [ __ ] the
best at dutch look at this 650 xp i'm
number one
baby yeah let's [ __ ] go
if you guys want to try doing your own
speed runs please let me know how you do
please tell me what random language you
get if you get klingon i am
so sorry in advance klingon [ __ ]
sucks we need to
why why is this a duolingo language that
you can learn
why klingon like
okay so yeah totally if you do speed
runs
let me know how you did down in the
comments below don't forget to leave a
like
subscribe yes let's get it
[Music]
oh