[Laughter]
[Music]
welcome new mech warriors to the inner
sphere where you can keep whatever money
you find so long as you live to pay day
for our first lesson the great houses
slide please
so the great houses are the six or four
people who can actually calculate
projection power on an appreciable
strategic scale the four pierce states
one remnant and one hermit kingdom that
make up the inner sphere
no it's not a perfect sphere
yes there are things outside of it today
we're talking about these [ __ ] these
are the great houses of the inner sphere
and they're all very different in
varying ways but are mostly the same and
that they are all occasionally not very
nice to each other
they also possess vast arsenals of
planet-killing weapons and on special
occasion will trundle them out for
public display
if you want to know why these people are
fighting over such a vast territory and
why they're so committed to erasing
portions of their collective industrial
base history and civilization
well
it's complicated
my best take on it is a two-parter and
most people find that a bit much
so let this serve as a basic
introduction to your career in the world
of mech warriors and a primer on who's
most likely to kill you when you
inevitably [ __ ] up
but firstly a disclaimer i am biased
as a mercenary plying his trade in the
inner sphere i find concepts such as
warfighting ideology largely a position
of what you can cover up from the
general public
mainly because at the end of the day in
the inner sphere it's about you and
yours and smoking craters tell no tales
they make a hell of an auto cannon
but to better illustrate my point let's
just dive in this map is from 3067 maps
from after that are somewhat messed up
for a number of reasons and on an
unrelated note let's just brush this
radioactive ash off here and there we go
3067 don't mind the flickering on the
screen i'm told it's mostly harmless
mostly
let's begin with the great houses
themselves
i'll be moving clockwise as we go for
those of you who understand time and
left hand feed for people who understand
timing
welcome to the wacky weird world of the
dracona's combine welcome to a pervasive
class system and home to the galaxy's
own home-grown no [ __ ]
sword-wielding authoritarian samurai
ruling class
oh yes
this place is literally built off
pre-space flight terran shogunat era
japan it's a monolithic
all-encompassing bureaucratic machine
run on war and conquest that thinks
optimal christmas dinner is by tradition
fried chicken
they're a fun collection of ideas
behold this is their throne room
take that in
this isn't just for show
this is their military
these are their uniforms
these are their macs they fight like
this
all the time
yes
those swords are very real and do brutal
work alright so back to the guy in the
chair it is frequently a guy in charge
of this
so this guy is called the coordinator he
runs the place there is very little
distinction between the coordinator as a
person and the draconis combine as a
whole
when people refer to the dragon in
reference to kurita as a house or a
nation
it's interchangeable between the two
entities and no the draconis combine
doesn't celebrate the godhood of
rulership with divine mandate however
the coordinator's word carries
essentially the same weight within their
sphere of influence so i'd not invite
trouble as kurita tends to bury its
enemies deep headless and by the million
they have no issues with troubleshooting
in government as treble should be shot
in the dracona's combine and if there is
anything to fear from these guys it's
that they believe in a manifest destiny
which involves house kurita controlling
everything
the draconis combine started as an
agreement between two worlds which was
then fed war and conquest through house
kurita's leadership kirita has had total
control since the beginning aside from
that one cadet branch that one time in
the family who was wiped out long ago
as far as how this thing runs well the
five pillars represent the draconis
combine the pillar of gold is the
government the pillar of steel is the
military the pillar of teak is the
people the pillar of ivory is religion
philosophy's in and all that crap and
then there's jade the economy these five
pillars of state philosophy are
represented in the ministries of state
organized through them for instance the
pillar of steel encompasses the ministry
of war the department of indoctrination
the bureau of substitution the assembly
of the grand inquisitor the admiralty
the physician staff of the dragon and
various minor administration authorities
speaking of authorities draconia's
combined bureaucracy tends to be
impenetrable to outsiders impossible to
reason with and largely maintains the
status quo
actual decisions are typically made by
people with significant military rank in
the form of military governors appointed
to oversee civilian authorities
when in doubt the decision maker is
typically the one with the sword and if
you want to see that sword up close and
real fast you only need to fail to take
its bearer seriously or merely
disrespect their presence also they had
this whole death to mercenaries thing
for a while not my favorite government
to work with then again they rarely need
mercenaries ever because the constant
fighting and insanity of the samurai
class means they're pretty much ready to
throw down whenever
if they lack a cause they'll find one
quick
the leaders of the draconis military are
often peerless warlords equally at home
in local shogunal politics or on the
battlefields of their neighbors the
dracona's combine is the state that war
built maintained by bushido psychotic
warriors and a shitload of weapons
finding kurita forces in your backyard
is frequently the precursor to speaking
japanese in your near future whether you
want to or not
next door is ruled by house davion the
so-called good kid of the successor
houses the noble one the one that likes
auto cannons a lot that's these guys
technically the state is the federated
suns and they're another fun monarchy
house deviant is descended from english
and french nobility operating as
constitutionally bound monarchs and has
been since ever trying to reinforce
their position as champions of liberty
and personal freedom at every annoying
turn
because of this most people think house
deviant and by extension the federated
sons are self-righteous [ __ ]
and they are not wrong
mostly but see the story is a bit funny
on that originally the federated sons
was a federation
in time the founding polities chose
delegates to form a high council who
would among themselves elect a president
to lead them
but the political machinations of the
davion family were all about having a
monarchy so they pushed the presidency
into that and since then the deviant
family has ruled
which is really
good for them mostly good for the
federated sons and has worked out for
the most part
however davion's being deviants one had
to rule them all so there was an early
day beyond civil war the five marches
had to decide for themselves who would
be the first prince and sharing was
apparently not a serious consideration
at any point and the winner of that
first early deviant civil war alexander
davion went on to pass more legislation
than any of his predecessors because he
had total military support turns out you
can make people vote how you want with a
bayonet however the story doesn't get
any worse really for some time at least
tuner credit house deviant was not a
despot they encouraged then and still
champion free speech individual
liberties and personal freedom but in
the end it is a monarchy
considering the mostly beneficial ruling
arrangement
some will label devion a father knows
best state which has many times but not
always been justified in its actions
as such it is seen as one of the more
stable houses on account of broad public
support
i will admit this though they can be
miserably righteous and annoying they're
frequently not evil just smug and yes
that is just as bad
the armed forces of the federated suns
have historically been one of the most
professional militaries of the inner
sphere originally formed from
peacekeepers and always kept as modern
as state industries could allow
these guys even developed the
predecessors to the warhammer on their
own dime in the earliest years of battle
max even when they're wrong they're
almost right
davion may not pay you well but they
won't bury you for no reason
mostly
next door are these guys i don't like
them as much for a number of reasons the
capellan confederation is the youngest
kid on the block as successor states go
it's a socialistic police state that has
almost but not always been under the
control of one family house liao
the head of the state is the chancellor
who is in the compelling confederation
one night away from making you disappear
to say that it is a police state is not
an act of hyperbole but substantiated
fact
however it wasn't always so
what started as a collection of states
uniting for common defense and
well-being
slowly grew over hundreds of years
through successive generations of
philosophy and leadership from one house
into an autocratic state with a
centrally controlled economy
some would say this is a functional
dictatorship but dictators tend toward
having some sort of functional agenda or
understanding of strategic power but in
truth there's actually three forces that
run this place at least in theory they
are the chancellor the profectorate and
the house of scions the chancellor is
the cic of the armed forces special
forces in the face of the state and
matters of foreign policy the chancellor
can also make decrees and legislative
changes at will it's a powerful position
to say the least and has nearly always
been a lifetime appointment for house
liao
the perfectorate is the body of state
regional entities and greater nobility
the house of science isn't mostly
needless to say the chancellor seems to
get his or her way more often than not
but the other two governmental branches
will act to frustrate or block
particular agendas what's interesting
about the capellan confederation is that
its citizens or rather i should say
resident aliens born there are not
citizens
not yet anyways
in fact in the confederation citizenship
must be earned and the state is the sole
measure of that esteem
children are legally in every way words
of the state under limited provisional
supervision granted by the government to
their parents or other assigned legal
guardians
at age 15 each child is thoroughly
examined by the government to see if
they have a proven commitment to the
state those who are deemed worthy gain
citizenship those who are not are given
a grace period for a second evaluation
but failure to measure up as a citizen
for any reason results in becoming a
non-citizen which are frequently
referred to as state servitors
by the succession wars this non-citizen
class had become an enormous part of the
population
a population that i must state
had no rights and was legally state
property this was reversed in 3052 when
sun tzu liao became chancellor in
abolish servitor slavery
not all capellan chancellors are
[ __ ]
most though well the record speaks for
itself the military the confederation
armed forces have traditionally been the
underdog but have never shied away from
a fight
they frequently are pushed into doing
far too much with far too little and on
top of it have to face the catastrophic
political and military meddling of a
chancellor who
may or may not understand the difference
between entertainment and war
the fact that capellan state has not
been conquered outright speaks volumes
to the abilities of the ccaf who have
demonstrated battlefield insanity as a
doctrine for nearly eight centuries
the capellan economy is centrally
planned and is designed on the principle
that sufficient planning can overcome
any hardship
this has produced mixed results
the confederation always endures
but at what cost
next door is the free world's league i
don't say housemaric because
well it's complicated
also their history isn't terrible as
some make it out to be yes the greatest
threat to americ is americ but glory
tumeric but it wasn't always so the free
world's league was actually formed
before the terran hegemony
born out of the early terran alliance's
colonial struggles and then collapsed as
an early power
your homeworld falling apart in early
colonization was well somewhat on the
catastrophic end of things so nations
which weathered that catastrophe learned
self-reliance
the free world's league was originally
an agreement between three existing
nations the meric republic the regulan
principality and the federation of
oriente
amazingly enough
the founders of the league owe most of
their success to a guy named george
humphries who was the negotiator between
the three nations and was honored as the
first speaker of parliament for five
damn sessions
they didn't throw their negotiator away
when they came together as a nation they
threw nobody under the bus
instead they championed him that is
righteous
so how'd it go down you see of the three
nations merrick was on top locally and
merrick didn't like the idea of a union
at all not at first he thought it
wouldn't work working with others seemed
like a bad idea in fact considering the
state of goliatic affairs but humphries
wore him down like a good friend does
and the only reason i bring this up is
because what were him down wasn't
politics it wasn't an appeal to power or
glory or riches or conquest or the
history books it was in fact nerd [ __ ]
see dentlev merrick collected historical
words and trophies raju salaj prince of
regulus collected miniatures figurines
mainly in books and paintings and the
like and these two guys nerding out
about their neat stuff they liked and
had collected contributed as much toward
the founding of the free worlds league
as anything else
ostensibly the free world's league is a
federal republic
with each province granted a grand
measure of self-rule and serenity and as
you'd expect the free worlds league is a
complex creature politically speaking
the parliament is technically a supreme
federal and legislative authority
but there's some caveats to that
for one membership of the parliament was
for a time determined by the amount of
taxes paid into the treasury and then
there's the self-rule problem all that
self-rule means you have all sorts of
people in parliament some nations could
be dictatorships others are theocracy
others a democracy and yet all under one
flag naturally this causes some
problems
it's why for the most part the free
world's league through its history has
operated in a near permanent state of
martial law under the captain general
who is frequently but not always americ
historically the power of the parliament
has waned with every major conflict
crisis or state of emergency whereas the
power of the captain general has
increased that's right the free world's
league drops their issues at merrick's
welcome mat rings the doorbell and runs
the [ __ ] home i don't envy that job
originally intended for military matters
on behest of parliament eight centuries
of emergency powers later the captain
general stands as first among equals and
is more or less house merrick's personal
lordship of the free worlds league with
all of the hazards that entails the free
worlds league has defined its economic
niche through innovative technologies
and free trade which i feel is a
response engineered in opposition to the
thin crumbling terran alliances blanket
of tariffs and protective customs laws
the laissez-faire approach to the free
world's economic principles has made
more friends than enemies however poor
risk management analysis has caused
problems for instance after conquering
the magistracy of canopus during the
reunification war the free world's
league invested oceans of currency
industry and effort into rebuilding the
canopen economy
canopus returned the favor by
out-competing and under-bidding the free
world's league economy in the region by
mostly using principally cheaper labor
and lots of industry they didn't have to
pay to build this resulted in a 10-year
economic recession for the entire free
world's league
no good deed goes unpunished since
they've learned quite a bit and have
managed their economic affairs with care
to guard against the systemic mayhem and
shock as caused by other states good
intentions or not culturally the free
world's leak is a mix in fact it is
probably the most diverse state there is
in the inner sphere the principal
language is mostly a derivative of star
league english but on any given world
you might hear czech arabic or urdu with
the sheer number of cultures and
political systems present in the free
worlds league it must be said that if
there was anything that unified them it
was not a merrick but more an ideology
and that's entrepreneurship a belief in
the free market and the idea that
anybody could make it if they tried it
was from the prosperity of the star
league that this philosophy grew i feel
the succession wars didn't dampen their
spirits either it merely made them
appreciate what they had and encouraged
them to continue fighting for it and
maybe each other from time to time
because hey glory to merrick
[Music]
next door is the one people make fun of
and for some of the right reasons
welcome to the lyran commonwealth
first of all few call it that unless
they're declaring war or arranging
marriage which if i'm frank might be the
same thing in the same afternoon so
welcome to the house of steiner the
steiners of the ruling family and have
been since virtually ever they were
founded as a merchant an industrialist
conglomerate they never stopped being
exactly that they celebrate their vast
wealth by having far too many nobles far
too many noble titles and historically
largely incompetent generals
say for the occasional flash in the pan
that is
however if they're strategically
incompetent to the point that the
concept of their scouting parties
operating vastly excessive tonnage even
in modest probing actions means based
more on truth than you think then how do
they survive you ask well money and
industry friends money and industry
house steiner's backing is the
industrial base in every bank that
invested in it they are the
military-industrial complex there are
many good reasons they can afford to
dump truck weapons into a situation
operational or not piloted or not and
then continue to do so until the enemy
leaves while not stupendously famous for
we're fighting leadership or tactical
brilliance house steiner cannon will
bury you with its vast assembly lines
led by pretend generals until you give
up or they get bored
every tragic comedy of their strategic
planning is mostly covered by the sheer
power of their pervasive economy and
vast military industry in its early days
the lyron commonwealth was headed by
nine archons as patterned off ancient
athens of terra because early post
terran colonies were like that very uh
idyllic then one guy deposed the other
eight decided to establish the estates
general to run the show and finally
hammer out some agreements on what
rights meant
and it's kinda worked out technically
the archon of the lyron commonwealth is
an absolute ruler commander-in-chief of
all military forces and can unilaterally
make most governmental decisions with a
modest nod
they run the show
they even hold the right to grant and
remove noble titles
in perpetuity
titles which hold significant power
so they're a ruthless autocrat right
not really
most archons of house steiner aside from
a few notable [ __ ] who need
extensive covering and what i will
likely label a historical diss track are
mostly okay people they delegate most
decisions to the bureaucracy the
councils of state appointed advisors and
the estates general and they typically
just keep their heads down or just go to
the solaris thing right the solaris
thing so there's a bullseye in the inner
sphere in the murder for entertainment
business and it's right here
solaris7 this is pretty much steiner in
a nutshell but i'm not an expert in
these matters so i'll turn it over to a
local he can sum it up better mr fisher
take it away
solaris 7 is the only place where you
can pay money to watch two strangers
beat each other to death while also
enjoying a corn dog
duncan that's not true canopus exists
they have corn dogs last i went
and a very good outback
i think canopus banned trans fats my
dude i've only ever seen funnel cake
oh and they do a lot of food on a stick
who saves napkins less to clean up
stick food is really the way of the
future
i wish we'd thought of it first
sticks truly are the yardstick of food
i'm duncan fisher i stand by this
statement
sticks are the future
mark my words
duncan this is costing me a fortune oh
right hpg builds so
solaris seven
um
murder is more or less very legal so
long as you do it in the box on tv and
everyone has a really great time
in fact it's fantastic
there's explosions and music and i'm
there every night on every screen i tell
you all the things i think you need to
hear and most of them are very accurate
very very accurate
anyways this is duncan fisher signing
off and this appearance costs professor
tex
1485 seabills thank you duncan
steiner space is a complex thing not
good not evil just very big in fact i
think that the lyran commonwealth is
much like a cosmic horror
some giant blind idiot god
just waiting there happily making money
in strudel
singing merrily to itself until someone
comes over and flips the table
and then it becomes very
very
upset
[Music]
directors
[Music]
anyways moving to our right because
space has that we have to talk about
this strip of the inner sphere that's
been nothing but hell we're not talking
about these a-holes here because they're
not from here or rather not recently
these are the clans and for those
uninitiated they're a strange deep space
civilization of state mandated eugenics
program warrior cast combat cult weirdos
even by our standards they're very weird
they also got completely wrecked by the
phone company it was a pretty okay time
for us that is so here's what remains of
the somewhat free rosso hog republic so
these guys were a thing briefly until
these guys decided they shouldn't be
because they were between these guys and
tara which is controlled by the phone
company who wasn't cool with these guys
taking a bite out of everything on their
way to the telecoms hq for very odd
strangely specific quasi-spiritual
reasons which were very different
strangely specific quasi-spiritual
reasons the phone company decided to
murder them
guys as it turns out you can make people
show up to an ambush by just asking them
remember be kind it pays dividends
before that unpleasantness razzle hog
was a state come from the space between
house curita over here and house steiner
these cretan buffer worlds were before
kurita came along an independently free
principality of mostly culturally
scandinavian colonists this small state
was then overrun by house kurita who had
to pry the worlds from them after 30
years of guerrilla warfare
they didn't go quietly they were always
a somewhat fiercely independent border
region who resisted assimilation into
the draconis combine over time in some
phone company intervention theodore
curita was convinced of the benefits of
creating a buffer zone between the
houses of steiner and kirina by granting
russell hogg independence some of
curita's guys were so mad at this that
they resisted the government and kirita
had to fight what was called the ronin
war after old man kirita gave his rowdy
warriors the belt rosselhog became
essentially a neutral buffer between the
two superpowers of house kurita and
house steiner they were independent for
almost two decades before these [ __ ]
came in and in the end they weren't
anymore
this much of them survived as a rump
state under the custodianship of comstar
until 3070 when clan ghostbear more or
less took them in
because ghost ghostbear is of a similar
cultural background and understands the
importance of family
good people mostly
kinda clingy though
for the record rossell hogg was not a
paper dragon they collapsed only after
fighting bravely in the face of
overwhelming odds
they gave the clanners a hard fight on
every world and in the deep black
between stars
it was a russell hug pilot who kamikazed
theo khan's worship and stopped the
invasion for a year
rossel hogg is like that they'll smile
all day but [ __ ] around and the viking
comes out and it doesn't stop until you
or they are very
very dead next up i have to talk about
this this was once the cradle of
humanity but it's been a hotbed of a lot
of historical issues
originally the first circuit of what was
called sl comnet was laid out in this
chunk of space once called the hegemony
then well there was this guy named
jerome blake and his fate would have it
he'd be the last employee of sl comnet
but some [ __ ] in time would think
that everything that poured out of his
goddamn mouth was the word of
[Music]
right so i guess next time i have to
talk about the periphery then the deep
periphery great goat play me out team
show these people how we pay our bills
see you next time stay safe
oh
far away from the light of terror the
remnants of another era join the crew
grab a brew it's a damn periphery
we're full of pirates cultists rednecks
and opus girls look great and late
destroy the crew
grab a brew it's a damn periphery
we're stuck in the forefree oh no
oh yeah ain't too much tech to be found
here at least it's not the inner sphere
far away
far away
out in the deeper if we were away
our way
out in the deep periphery there's
randy's knights in abandoned countries
vikings
murder junkies houses out noble suck get
out of
periphery just bring your armies bring
your treasure we'll drain it all at our
own leisure right away
far away
in the deep periphery
you're stuck in the periphery oh no
oh no you lost everything you held dear
at least you're out near spear far away
far away
out in the deeper refrain far away
far away
out in the deep free
solo
[Music]
all right back to the course one more
time
you're stuck in the periphery oh no
oh no you lost everything you held dear
at least you're out the inner sphere far
away
far away
out in the deep earth free far away
far away
out in the deep refree
yeah
now get the [ __ ] out
[Music]
[Music]
if it were done winter's done and where
well it were done quickly
if the assassination could tremble up
the consequence and catch with his
cersei success that but this blow might
be the be-all and the end-all
here
but here upon this bank and shoal of
time we jump the life to come
but in these cases we still have
judgment here
that we but teach bloody instructions
which being taught returned to plague
the inventor
this even-handed justice commends the
ingredients of our poisoned chalice to
our own lips
he's here in double trust
first as i am his kinsmen and his
subject strong both against the deed
then as his host who should against his
murderer shut the door not bear the
knife myself
besides this duncan hath born his
faculty so meek
hath been so clear in his great office
that his virtues will plead like angels
trumpet-tongued against the deep
damnation of his taking off
and pity like a naked newborn babe
striding the blast or heavens cherubins
horst upon the sightless couriers of the
air shall blow the horrid deed in every
eye the tears shall drown the wind
i have no spur to prick the sides of my
intent
but only vaulting ambition
which overleaps itself
and falls on the other
haha
shitpost achieved now where's my scotch
i know i should probably make a capellan
joke about a words in the military but
they typically retire people by
millimeters before they become
politically hazardous by degrees
there are now six battle tech jokes