you know my dad was the guy i looked up
to obviously growing up and he was a big
drinker um
and i was kind of nervous about telling
him when i was going sober i felt like i
remember putting in the call like a
facetime and i was like right okay i
need to tell my parents like almost like
coming out i was like
being sober
we're talking with matt pink what's
going on good sir
how are you living the dream thank you
thank you for having me on i'm looking
forward to it yeah thanks for getting on
in the uk what's uh what's cracking over
there because it's as we're recording
it's like 8 9 at night uh seven o'clock
at night yeah it just got dark freezing
cold hoping for spring to be around the
corner um but apart from that we're all
good
we're coming up on spring too these uh
trees got pollen out of nowhere and your
boy's stuffy again so that's fun
well we're going to get into a lot of
different stuff and really want to know
how you kind of fell
into addiction you know some of the
background and things like that but are
there really any things now like that
you continue to um that you struggle
with or things that you work through
daily i know for
a lot of us in recovery we talk about
our defects that we really have to check
daily um do you have any of those and if
so what are some of those practices that
you use to check those
yeah i suppose i have like um a rolling
mental checklist and i i don't really
particularly record it but i know that
if i'm feeling a specific way i kind of
run through it as i have i slept well
have i eaten well and how i exercise
have i connected with friends and family
that kind of thing
and then i i play a process of
elimination so i can usually find out
pretty quickly but the one that
um really i rely on heavily is exercises
you talk about like a transfer addiction
i've probably moved into that and i
think that's good because it's on to
obviously a positive thing but i do
pretty much hit the gym up every you
know five or six times a week without
fail and if i don't go for a few days i
really feel that mentally so that's
probably the main one who's going to say
do you feel off when you don't go to the
gym
yeah i really i do i and i feel like
probably a bit guilty if i don't um and
i feel like i'm only doing myself i kind
of have big end goals now like goals
i've never had before and i see myself
every day working towards those goals so
if i don't go to the gym that's not
working towards my goals which means i'm
plateauing which means i'm not making
any progress which then motivates me it
makes me feel guilty so i kind of yeah
that's where i'm at with that one
sure yeah no i totally get that if i
don't go to the gym then i try to eat
healthy at least so i can justify well i
didn't work out today but i ate really
well and now that football season's done
that means no more pizza on sunday so
that's a plus
because that was you know a cheat day
but i get it what kind of transpires
though if you you miss it because you're
you're a family man right wife kids
yeah wife kids and
um another kid on the way so yeah busy
visit i haven't revealed that my social
media yet there you go there's an
exclusive you heard it first it slips
out
hey congratulations to you folks that's
awesome
thank you yeah so yeah busy with family
but you know that is family first it's
one of the biggest things
um biggest things in my life really i
think that neglect that i you know i
prioritized drinking for a long time and
now i prioritize my family i really
prioritize my family like every single
day so
um but yeah
if i don't
you have so much time in your life you
have so much time in these you know
these days that we have but we we go
through this we live this myth thinking
that we haven't got enough time and it's
only when you get drinking that you
realize that you do have enough time to
be a family man you do have enough time
to go to the gym five six times a week
and you have enough time to you know
change help change people's lives and
live a good lifestyle so i think um yeah
i think i can fit it all in pretty
easily it's it's all that uh [ __ ] of
uh of our addiction and what we tell
ourselves right because we prioritize
like you said getting out to the pub or
whatever it is you know
yeah definitely that was my priority
like for probably 20 years that built
gradually building up building up
building up and you know i'd wake up a
week and thinking right if i feel like i
could feel that [ __ ] i'm thinking the
first thing is can i am i going to have
a beer at lunchtime when am i going to
start to feel normal again i don't feel
like i shouldn't have done that let's
have a week off my natural instinct was
like where's the next drink and i did
that for 20 years and then suddenly time
went like that but um now that i don't
do that i realized i have so much more
time in my life and yeah i was telling
myself just a load of [ __ ] for the last
20 years well how do you
or or
how not only how but what do you do to
because we gotta you know people when i
say we gotta take care of ourselves
first they think oh that's you're
continuing just to be selfish
but how did you really reconcile hey
i've gotta like get match [ __ ] in order
otherwise
i'm not gonna be able to prioritize my
family
i think when i first went sober i really
went like all guns blazing i lost sides
away i was running loads i was feeling
good and i was sleeping well and i was
eating well and i was probably on the
top form i've ever been on i kind of
went from one extreme to the other
and then i was able to um deliver
everything i wanted to be and be the
person i wanted to be but after a few
months of doing that i think i started
to kind of plateau a bit and get a bit
comfortable in my spray
and i think that's now where i know that
you know that's not where i want to be
and it might be it might be that instead
of drifting off back into sort of drink
it was maybe
chocolate or pizza or um yeah just being
a bit lazy i guess and not stimulating
myself and not keeping the ball rolling
so now i know
the importance of that and now i know
i've got that as a reference point so i
make sure that i'm the best version of
myself you can't drink you know you
can't drink fermented cups are the
phrase you can't
feed from an empty cup i don't know
something like that
when people talk
in my book
i say in my book i say like
um people talk about with your glasses
half full and glasses i've them half
empty and i'm like just fill the [ __ ]
glass up and then worry about everything
else after that because you know once
your glass is overflowing that's the bit
where you can start giving back to other
people um but yeah i don't see that i
don't see it as a selfish act i think
many people do but um it's not like
we're putting ourselves first by going
in the pub with our friends all night
putting ourselves first by waking up
early doing good things exercising doing
things giving up time to do things like
this to help other people so that's a
different kind of selfish i guess
what was uh for you that as we call it
here i'm not sure there you know the
rock bottom the point where it's just
like this [ __ ] has to stop
um
i got
there was kind of it wasn't a particular
moment but there was quite a long period
of time where um
my drinking really i don't if you guys
know but i lost my son in 2013.
so my son suddenly died in his sleep
um
and he was four and a half months old so
we called it cot therefore suddenly from
death syndrome there's various names for
it
and that was kind of the point in my
life where i
my alcohol relationship changed from
something that i wanted to do something
i needed to do
um because everyone around me was
flaking you know my wife at the time my
parents everyone was like broken so i
had to sort of pull myself together and
crack on
you know with life um but
someone told me these words and they
said look if you
time is a healer um and i remember
thinking
well most times a healer drinking makes
time go quick and if i drink in two
years time i'm just gonna come out of
this [ __ ] and be like a new man and
ready to go and obviously that didn't
work five years later i was you know
broken and put on weight i was you know
[ __ ] that ship guy really um
not doing great things cost me that
ended up costing me my marriage you know
moved out of my family home that i'd
worked so hard to kind of
create and pay for um and then i was
like so for surfing around central
london um not really knowing where i was
going to sleep from one night to the
next um so life went pretty [ __ ] pretty
quickly and that was kind of my rock
bottom moment um when i thought this is
you know i was doing two three-day
benders i was you know sniffing cocaine
you know doing anything i have to get my
hands on basically just kind of like had
enough lost all respect for myself
um and then at that point i had i had a
pretty mad story actually um i had a i'd
been to see a spiritualist when my son
died
something that i never thought i thought
it was just a load of [ __ ] i didn't
believe in it at the time my mum used to
go periodically she used to come back
and like crying and show me all these
things telling me all these things and i
just used to think
like it was you know obviously they're
going to say your great nan wanted to
speak to you or your great granddad
wanted to speak to you and all these
people that were obviously dead um but
they did tell me something like quite
cool stories anyway an act of
desperation
after my son died and i went to see one
and that i had this amazing like half an
hour with this woman she just
like told me he was there like she
didn't know who i was she told me he's
there she showed me he's he's a
reoccurring spirit and she
told me lots of things about him and it
just made me feel so much better and at
the end of it i i she held my hand and i
was like crying she said to me
uh are you okay i said yeah but i want
to come back when can i come back
because this this is the first time i
felt like relief and she held my hand
and she looked in the eye and said don't
worry if we need you we'll come to you
and anyway fast forward these years
later when i'm sober surfing around
central london standing outside a bar
and this guy just appeared out of
nowhere and again i talked about this in
my book but he just came up to me in the
middle of the street out of nowhere
standing outside my friend and he just
started telling me that i need to speak
to you you're doing too much you're
drinking you're drugging
you're doing too much you're a good guy
you've got a lot about you you're going
to live to your 97. this is what it's
like telling me i was close to a flower
my daughter's name is lily telling me
it's like you've got no brothers no
brothers but you've got sisters two
sisters twin sister twin sister night
all this stuff that is completely true
um and he said to me you you've got a
lot going for you in your life if you
stop doing these bad habits then you're
going to live a long healthy life and
you're going to help lots of people
and it was the first and he just
disappeared into thin air um you didn't
know who this guy was
no no one didn't know who he was and
luckily my friend was with me because i
think people would have thought i was
just you know mega drunk
um
but it was for real it happened and he
was there with me and it was just crazy
and that was the first moment where at
that point i was i was floating around
not really with any purpose and
he kind of gave me a sense of direction
and a bit of a reason for living and
kind of wake up call and he also said to
me that um are you seeing a girl seems
to do a k i can see a k you're seeing a
girl someone's who can i started seeing
this girl
called kirsty who i met on tinder and um
he was like she's good for you need to
go with her you need to go her
um and i ended up going you know i've
called her up
moved in a week later now we're married
and expecting a baby so um that all came
from that conversation pretty much
so that was my rock bottom but it was
also my springboard back into life
almost like that's that uh as a lot of
people talk about moment of spiritual
awakening
yeah exactly and i think
like i said i was like your typical beer
drinking lad you know
um i was not into that kind of thing at
all before and now i it's part of my
practice i do like meditation
i i openly connect with the world the
universe god whatever you want to call
it
i believe in it i think it's there it's
helped me i know it's there and
now i just i kind of trust the universe
the universe has your back right and
yeah i think that that security i have
now have in my mind knowing that people
are there looking out for you um
really helps me and really helps me deal
with the grief of my son but also helps
me look forward and be positive your
tinder is a lot different than ours man
you
the ones that i see on tinder are the
ones trying to get me to join their only
fans account
yeah it's been a while since i've been
on it i don't know what it's like
i enjoyed the process though sure
yeah
uh
where for you do you
do you think um you know the substance
abuse and everything you know obviously
your your son's death and and you know
our our love to you on that i can't
imagine uh going through that
um but
was it something that it was just kind
of what everyone did go out to the pub
football match is on
you know so it was just kind of that way
you felt was the only way to have
connectivity or were there things with
you as as a kid that kind of you think
trauma moments or something that led you
down that path prior to your son
obviously that's like you know
yeah no do you know what
i had a great childhood i got nothing to
complain about no traumas i was really
fortunate but
what i am is i'm an all or nothing kind
of guy so when we went out as with me
and my mates we'd go out with drink and
like what happened was
they would kind of when we got to my
late 20s they'd
they'd start spending more time with
their families and sort of drifting off
the drink and i'll be like where's
everyone going finding new people to
hang around with because
i was only going one way and then when
my son died it just accelerated even
further because i just relied on that
was my escape that was my out
um so yeah i think it was more of a case
of it was on the incline anyway my
drinking and then that just exacerbated
it and i was off then um and then then i
you know became it wasn't enough so i
was smoking and i was sniffing gear and
you know
anything else to kind of get my hands on
when it was when it was the real rock
bottom but you know what i feel like
that's paid in a weird way i'm kind of
glad that i did all that [ __ ] because
i think now i feel like i've completed
it i don't want to go back to that i
know what it's like i've done everything
you could do
a million times and you know it never
ends up really and it's fun as you think
it is at a time it's not fun in the long
run and now you come away from it and
you look back at it and
it's actually
horrifying in some ways some of it um so
yeah i think it play i think doing that
in such a short space of time and having
a real like go at it made me the person
i am now but it also secures me
hopefully going forward because i don't
have any inclination to go back there
and i know exactly what you're talking
about i recently did a speaking
engagement to some high school students
and i was just like yeah because you
know uh jail cells and handcuffs are
really [ __ ] fun
you know yeah oh it's like enough shits
happen that i have no desire to go back
i play the story out pretty quick yeah i
have one drink then i'm driving again
and disappearing for a day or two and
you know and then i come too and it's
like you know
hands behind the back and you know these
aren't the bracelets i want to wear so
it's pretty shitty
um why write a book
because i've had this like
powerful you know intense horrendous
story really um and i think i just when
i went sober i just had this real
like urge to share my story i don't i
can't explain it maybe it's back to the
spiritual piece but
i just wanted to write it down at the
time when i started i just wanted to
write it down just to write down just to
get out of my head and i was sober and i
was kind of just in this moment where i
wanted to put something on paper i
wanted to get stuff out of my head and
want to you know get it out of my body
really and as i was writing i was like
this is actually quite good um
this would make a good story and then it
tied in with my recovery journey people
were like saying to me what are you
doing like what you look better you feel
better you like a different guy um what
you actually doing they wanted to know
the detail
so i tied the two together and i kind of
the first part of the book is a memoir
of talking about like very briefly about
my childhood but then obviously what
happened with my boy
and then kind of a bit about what the
rock bottom moment the spiritual you the
visit i had from that spiritualist etc
all of those kind of things
to build a picture and then i i wrote it
in a step-by-step guideline
chronological order what i did it's
called about me about you
and the better me bit for each section
is basically what i did and what i
experienced and then the better you bit
is literally just an instruction of what
you could do
so it's written in a really simplistic
way by me someone who didn't do very
good at school um and i think that kind
of is one of the reasons it's done
really well because it's so easy to read
it's easy to pick up and put down you
can reference back to it with clear
action points and it's true and it's
lived by me and that um yeah i'm really
proud of it it's done really well since
it came out last year were there any
surprises uh for you in putting the book
out of the feedback you've gotten did
you do any public signing speaking along
with the book that the
things that you didn't expect people to
say
yeah i'm surprised how well it's done
and i'm surprised how
how many people have
have enjoyed it have
given me a glowing review and then also
passed it on someone else i'm now at the
stage because it's in november it came
out look i'm getting a lot of people now
saying i've read it and it's brilliant
it's changed my life my husband's now
reading it and he's ready and you know
change his life and you know you get
people sending you quotes from your own
book like periodically on instagram or
if people will send you a really long
message would say you've never heard
from them but suddenly they've been
following me for six months they've read
my book and they know everything about
it so
um it's
yeah i think there's there's two
benefits for one of the benefits was
definitely like a cathartic journey for
me writing it and getting it all out my
head onto paper i was really emotional
when i was writing i was really like you
know i was in tears a lot when i was
writing i didn't expect that so i think
that was really good from a therapeutic
stance and then obviously i think it's
obviously helping other people as well
because specifically guys um
you know guys don't really
guys just want blatant instructions
really sometimes they just want to be
black and white this is what i did that
this and i think that's where it seems
to have worked a lot of women are
reading and giving their husbands
because it's like look read this and
just do it um it's quite simple there's
not much more to it and obviously
everyone's different but it does give
you a really clear parameters of what
could make your life better which is the
only goal
yeah i think i'm going to have to get it
now because you're talking about me it's
like
that's what i want to do do you know how
to get there i do write it down
no i don't i'm not i'm not the best
always with the having to explore [ __ ]
i'm very black and white yeah i'm very
black and white
uh well
and i don't know about you matt maybe
what you know your generation you grew
up with or your home life or whatever
too also with men oftentimes we're told
uh don't show your emotions don't be
emotional that makes you a little [ __ ]
or whatever it is and so we kind of
don't open up about anything we're going
through which is so detrimental and
hopefully people that have read your
book men and and or listen to this
podcast or both is great um you know for
men especially to open up you know
absolutely and i think it's becoming
more and more acceptable and i think
that one of the interesting things i
discovered early on was when you look at
the stats in aaa i don't know what it's
like in the states but in the uk like 75
of people go to
aaa are men and if i look at my
followers
75 of my followers are female and what
that tells you is that the women are
much more so the curious they're much
more open to a bit you know to change in
their lives they want to hear all about
it but
then they ultimately will probably fix
themselves before they need to go to aaa
whereas guys just don't
talk about it they don't want to know
about it put themselves in a downward
spiral and then bang they get caught
drink driving or whatever it is and then
suddenly they're in a and they need to
recover so i think it says it all on
paper but i do think i've seen even only
one year that i've had my instagram
account i've seen so many more men reach
out to me um and i think it's becoming
much more acceptable and i think the
more people like me and you guys that
talk about it the more acceptable it is
so we're shifting the needle the right
way but just still got work to do
yeah we do well i'm sure that as far as
the women followers you being a good
looking dude doesn't hurt me either
yeah i don't know i don't know i'm
pushing 40 next year
um so
yeah i'm trying to look after myself
it's all right i hit 44 this year man
you're good don't worry you continue to
get better
um i'm 33 but i look 40.
that's why our followers are a little
different there matt
um so you're doing something interesting
i saw in your bio on your your instagram
you're doing a no booze cruise
what what really inspired this
yeah follow me uh better life guy um is
is my insta name but yeah it's
it's gonna be crazy but i did one last
year um it was like an idea i had and i
thought it was actually because of
lockdown i thought how can i get i want
to do an event but everywhere in london
requires you to spend a minimum amount
which is a lot and when you're getting
sober people in a bar they're not going
to spend a lot obviously so it was going
to end up costing me a lot of money to
do an event so i was thinking how can i
do it in a way that it's not going to
cost me loads of money and i can get
people isolated and i thought if i do it
on a way i could sell a ticket then
that'll work so i thought i'd do it on a
boat ride down up and down the river
thames all past like the houses of
parliament in london you know so this is
a boat trip
everyone's isolated so um
we you know we're all together
everyone's sober i can start we can stop
the bar with alcohol free drinks and
then we've got something it's just a
party boat basically
and i can make it quite affordable and i
can chuck in a few free drinks etc i did
it last year kind of speculatively got
100 people on a boat and we sold it out
and then so this year i've just got a
bigger boat basically and i've really
gone to town because there's things i
didn't do last year i didn't do food i
didn't have a dj i just had a bit of
music and we were just going up and down
the thames this time
i've leveled up and yeah it's a it's a
boat that holds 200 people it's going up
and down thames still we've made it all
inclusive so you get all of your drinks
included and there's like
mocktail makers there's beers there's
fears there's all sorts of things going
on i've got people doing a live podcast
on board i've got um people playing
music i've got a live dj set
i've got a photographer
um and ultimately what i've got is
hopefully 200 people which are sober or
sober curious which enables them to
either come on their own or come with
friends to meet other sober people so to
kind of find a crew but also to explore
the world like speak to like sober
influencers like myself try drinks that
you wouldn't necessarily try yourself
the people that run the drinks brands
are going to be on the boat to talk
about it as well so
it's just a really cool space that's
open for anyone who's interested and um
i'm hoping it's going to be an amazing
day so yeah it's
it's exciting and i'm a little bit
nervous about this one because it's just
so big and it's really blown up
um but yes i think it's cool i think i
want to come over to the states and do
one in new york up and down the river
too oh that'd be badass shoot we're in
california but maybe that'd be a good
reason to go to new york check that out
man
halfway right yeah
we'll meet you in the middle
yeah
so yeah that's it you brought up and and
um
i've enjoyed you know mocktails and
stuff like that and i like non-alcoholic
beers have you encountered any people
that that kind of have a pushback
against that stuff
yeah i think so like the way i talk
about it is always that i think at this
one end of the scale to my left you've
got like a minor minority of people that
are sober to my right at the end of the
scale you've got people that are heavily
addicted and active addiction
i'd say that the people at the far right
under the scale probably shouldn't touch
it if you really you know if you're
gonna be triggered by it and it's going
to pull you back into you know alcohol
but
the people i talk to the people in the
middle which is kind of 80 i would say
of the world there are people like
middle lane drinkers grey lane drinkers
people that just drink because everyone
drinks and they drink because the
footballs on and they drink because it's
friday whatever these are the people
that i'm really finding that i relate to
because that's why i call myself the
better life guy because it's not just
about not drinking that's the first step
but then it's about what next and i
think that's where i'm changing people
is helping change people's lives because
you give up the alcohol thing do that
but then start meditating eat well you
know sleep well enjoy yourself connect
with your family and all these other
things and that's why
that's all encompassing so
yeah i think
sobriety is the first portal but um the
rest of it's kind of wrapped into it as
well
yeah thank you for sharing because i've
we've not really talked to anybody about
that because i enjoyed the the
non-alcoholic drinks the mocktails
things like that a non-alcoholic beer i
i liked the taste of beer i was actually
a guy that did enjoy that um i hate the
[ __ ] part of the
the getting
smashed and everything but every now and
then at stake with something flavored
for beer like we had a christmas party
and i had a uh non-alcoholic beer with
our steak dinner and it you know i i
enjoy that i know for some people maybe
it's a trigger um i was gonna say i
could see how that could be triggering
sure for some but i know for me it is
not so i just was wondering if you've
had conversations with others yeah i
definitely have definitely people when i
post about it because some brands send
me stuff and i'll post it a lot of
people will say
you know shouldn't be advertising that
or i can't drink that stuff and i'm like
that's cool that's up to you i
personally i've gone on a bit of a
journey of it when i first went sober i
was smashing the alcohol free beers i
was i was cleaning up i don't five or
six when you on a friday night which is
crazy but i helped get me off it right
and then i went for a stage a few months
later where i didn't really have any and
now i'm on stage again where i'm picking
them back up because i'm treating them
like an adult drink rather than like a
beer like it's a point of difference
it's a saturday night or if if we're
going out for a meal or whatever it is i
feel grown up having one i enjoy the
taste of it
i'm not looking at it as a replacement
now for what was i'm looking at it as an
adult drink for now so yeah i think it's
each to their own
yeah i no i agree and i think going into
that uh
conscious state of of what it is for you
as opposed to what what people want to
tell others it is you know that's a
decision we all have to make
individually in our recovery or just
be like you said being sober curious you
know i encourage people like i get home
and and i kind of did the same thing but
with with bubbly water with fizz fizzy
water i mean i go through uh
18 of those a week probably you know
because it's kind of like oh it's got a
little bit of that flavor or something
and
i don't know it's still up there in that
way but what was it like when you met
your wife now
and sharing your past with her if you
don't mind talking about that because
sometimes that could be a heavy thing to
work through when you're trying to build
intimacy
yeah that was [ __ ] brutal
that was
uh heavy that was but this this is crazy
thing that was my therapy what i didn't
really
think at the time because i like going
back to the point where my son died and
i looked around me and everyone was
broken
she was the first person my wife now
that i spoke to
about it and i was drinking at the time
and um
and
she was listening and she was you know i
really care i cared about her i think i
made a that made
it better because where i'd spoke to
like a counselor before i think it was
[ __ ] about them i was like this guy's
just a suit in a room i don't really
want to tell him all my story whereas
when i talk to her i was like
i was really opening up and i was
getting really emotional and we went for
a stage about six months where you know
we were drinking a lot together and like
literally we would be sitting up all
night and i'll just be s pouring my eye
out and she'd just be listening like i'd
cry she'd cry we'd cry and that that was
what the recovery journey was because
after six months i started to think you
know when we get the bottle of wine out
to have another conversation it was like
actually you know what let's not let's
just go to bed and actually in the
morning should we go for a walk all
right and that was like gradual points
you start thinking [ __ ] this
that's helped like i feel lighter for
talking to her i feel better for talking
to her and now
i don't want to drink and then it's like
that's when i started having a period
like i'd go two three days without
drinking now but this is cool this feels
amazing and i've sort of like
delivered or get all this weight off of
me and so that and then but then i'd go
back and do a three-day drinking session
our difference is i was conscious about
them and i started drinking consciously
and i was i was drinking pouring i was
like do i want this do i like this is
this good when i'm drinking it the day
after i'm like this is [ __ ] and then i
have to go back and do a three-day break
again and i'm like this is better and
then i go yeah gradually gradually
gradually it'd be like a week off the
drink i believe this is amazing and i'll
go and do a week on the drink and all
this is [ __ ] and then over a period of
time suddenly that was led to one day
where i just woke up and i was like
that's it i'm done um so yeah it's a
really good question because
that was a pivotal part of my my
recovery well and we need that support
everybody does no matter what it is if
you're an addict or not or mental health
struggles or not um which generally i
have yet to meet someone that's an
addict you tell me if it's different for
you or different for you mikey that
doesn't struggle with some sort of
mental health issue and something
underlying
yeah for sure like
and that's where now i think without
having the alcohol to really open up i
think i have to consciously make an
effort sometimes i'll say to my wife can
i talk to you tomorrow night or if i
know like the kids aren't around can i
just talk to you and it might be
me just talking out loud and it'll just
spiral from one thing to another and it
might just be like [ __ ] but i try and
make the effort to really
talk because i think it's easy to get
back into that trap of being a man and
being a guy so
but so far so good and
yeah i'm almost enjoying it i'd say
that's awesome and good for your mental
health too just getting whatever you
have on your mind off your chest
yeah for sure and and and trying to
encourage it you know to her to do it
and trying to encourage the kids
to do it you know is it i quite often
ask the kids like open-ended questions
even though they're my little boys are
only like five and six but you know how
are you you're good how's everything at
school how are you feeling you know all
these kind of things that i probably
wouldn't have asked him before um you
know i've been asking for the just in a
reaction you're right good yeah yeah
good
like now i'm like sitting down with them
making our concert trying to like get
out of them and you know i can see you
can see in your kids eyes with something
up and so far so good on that one as
well
yeah actual fellowship actual connection
going on
yeah exactly pure connection
and we all need that
in our in our homes you know it's funny
and thank you for sharing that but i was
talking with my kids about that
the other day that you know yeah you're
gonna face the world when you're going
out there and you're gonna have to carry
your sword and shield so to speak but
know that always the home you come to
that it's a safe place you know mentally
emotionally spiritually and physically
exactly the greatest gift and
having yeah having that experience have
been able to share that with your kids i
think it's magic and i think actually
being a sober parent like is pretty
magic as well because i gave up when
they were like two and three or whatever
it was um so they're only going to know
me as a sober parent and now what they
see you know they're every day they're
like oh daddy going for a run today or
daddy my daddy eats healthy or my dad
you know doesn't drink alcohol and they
just did they they they're so
conditioned at that age i think it's
it's pretty amazing that they're gonna
have a full life without without seeing
alcohol even in the house because my
wife doesn't drink either that's what i
was gonna ask if your wife drinks or not
so she doesn't as well
yeah she gave up on that day i woke up
and i said she said she'll do it with me
which is pretty amazing yeah um
she i mean she's like
she's a glass of wine a night
she's steady like she's she would never
run off and you know go on a three-day
bender so she's not like us
so it wasn't as difficult for her but i
do mega appreciate it because it just
made life so much easier sure well that
shows the depth of love that you know
this this thing this substance was so
unimportant that to be there for you and
support you it's like that that can just
go away it's not a necessity of life but
loving you and building something with
your relationship is
yeah yeah exactly yeah i never thought
of it like that that's a good way of
putting that well tell her ice drops
that bomb on yeah
well man we're very excited for you and
uh that's awesome that uh that you've
really turned your life around how is it
like with your family members now
because you said that that kind of
everyone went to [ __ ] you know your
parents included um what has that
transformation been like with the love
outside of the home
yeah you know what it's been um crazy
because my dad you know my dad was the
guy i looked up to obviously growing up
and he was a big drinker um
and i was kind of nervous about telling
him when i was going sober i felt like i
remember putting in the call like a
facetime and i was like right okay i
need to tell my parents like almost like
coming out i was like being sober um
and i remember that so vividly and i
remember here i remember look in his eye
and i was like he
um kind of he's like that he like
someone connected with him and he then
on the day decided to give up for a bit
with me and he did 100 days over when
when i first went sober and then he went
back
to drink him and then when it was my one
year anniversary last april he gave up
again and he's not drunk since so he's
pushing a year sober now which for
someone who i grew up watching drink and
you know loves to drink and has drunk
all his life
is pretty amazing and the person he's
become
um as well as the person i've become you
know we're just we're on a different
level of in relationship now um it's
like optimum uh and then you know my my
mom still drinks but she
drinks a lot less because my dad doesn't
drink so it's a good knock-on effect
so my my relationship with my family is
really is really the best it's ever been
um and i think we're always going to
have that hurt inside us
but that's also that's what glues us
probably together as well because we've
all been through that together well
that's pretty neat that you and your dad
will share the same sobriety date
yeah exactly i didn't even know he was
doing it he just he did it the first
time he sort of told me a few days in
and the second time he told me if he
doesn't like okay i didn't know how long
he's gonna do it for but now i'm like
when he gets to a year i'm gonna be like
i really hope he sticks to it because
he's just he's watching him
with my kids and stuff he's just so much
he's just present he's just there like
and it's not that he wasn't before but
he just improved so much on
on the on the granddaddy is and the guy
is you know everybody does don't they
die everybody goes sober just becomes a
better person i can't really explain it
but
um
yeah i'm proud of you
yeah that's awesome that's amazing
well matt um before we kind of get to
some final thoughts with you we always
like to ask the guests to leave us with
uh some words of encouragement we do a
fun thing of some random questions are
you ready good sir
go for it
all right mikey you're up if you can
have dinner with anybody in the entire
world living or not
who would it be
david beckham
um
do you guys know david beckham of course
love
david love david beckham
he was my like football hero when i was
growing up um style icon
um
he's just i just everything about him
he's a great dad he's a great family man
he's [ __ ] handsome
he's just so damn cool like everything
that he had was just so damn cool
i love that yeah
and then there was a thing that came out
with um
victoria beckham and they said somebody
asked them like how come you never
cheated on your wife like or something
it was i thought it was kind of a dumb
ass question it's because well because
you're married you don't cheat when
you're married but he said she's my best
friend why would i want to hurt my best
friend it's like gosh even his answers
are perfect his airlines perfect he's
her gosh
but yeah i get that
i get that
were you a soccer player or a football
player
yeah yeah yeah i loved it i i still
i still like what i don't play anymore
but i love
watching it which is weird because i
went for a stage when i went sober i
kind of went off football there because
you know just the association of like
watching in the pub and you know
watching the bars the weekend or
whatever yeah um i know i've got back
into it i'm i'm into it in a different
way as well like i'm just a bit more
into it and like the side of it or the
fixtures or what's coming up or what the
league table looks like rather than just
like sitting in front of it with the
beer and just it being on
i'm actually enjoying it for what it is
and the talent that's on the show so
uh i still can't get mad around your
your football working on it
um
american football i like our football
too much i'm actually kind of glad yeah
because yeah so yep
uh what's your team
man united who uh manchester united
obviously beckham played for so yeah
that's where the beckham connection is
hey matt since you're you're you're a
british man
can i get confirmation that yes lewis
hamilton was screwed on winning the
championship this last year because i am
a huge formula one fan and that's my guy
i just need somebody else behind me on
this
right so i'm a massive formula one fan
like me and my dad have been going for
we go to silverstone every year we have
done all my life and we've been to i've
been to the australian grand prix
malaysian grand prix turkish grand prix
um
where else have i been italian monza
i love it so yeah i mean i was nervous
so nervous watching the last few races
because i'm a lewis fan um obviously and
i thought max was
you know brilliant throughout the season
but all way too aggressive like these
are dangerous dangerous car cars going
200 mile an hour and he pulled some real
dangerous stunts
um
but he probably deserved to win over the
whole thing but i just don't think i i
can't believe they made that decision on
the spot at that late in the day and
just completely made it up so he was he
was screwed in the moment for sure he
outperformed himself in that last race
but over the course of the season i
think you've probably got to say the
right result
yeah yeah i i it's when people have
asked me i go max verstappen is a
deserving champion my problem was that
wasn't that lewis lost it was the
violation of the integrity of the rules
because yeah the set of rules people are
probably like what the [ __ ] you guys
talking about is
is the the the decision they made had to
apply to every car on the grid not just
the ones that separated the leader from
the guy in second place and that thus
gave him the advantage so for me it was
disheartening as a huge motorsports fan
and a fan of sports that when you
violate the rules of anything
it loses its integrity and they did it
for the sake of show
and not that like i said max verstappen
wasn't a worthy champion but it's like
anyways hey thanks for being on board
with me for that hopefully we didn't
lose too many people i'm going to follow
you from my personal page we're talking
this season
formula one fans because i have no idea
what yeah what you're talking about
um top three favorite bands i love it
three favorite bands uh oh god um joe
what i'm really sad my music choices are
so sad they're like really old-fashioned
so
i i went and watched aerosmith a few
times
i went for an aerosmith um
time in my life and i absolutely love
them so i've got to say they're in there
and i like that sort of rock style i'm
actually back into guns and roses at the
minute i just did a few reels with guns
and roses
that's my all-time favorite
i just keep listening to their greatest
hits and i'm just like this is [ __ ]
epic every time just like yeah sick of
it never gets old
um
and i'm gonna say queen i've been
listening to as well
really sad sad sad life but there you go
dude we are the same i swear and david
beckham guns and roses freddie mercury
like
we're going to have to meet up because
like if the new york
sober cruise happens i think we get
along a little too well it's like all
the same
hang on real quick what's your favorite
queen song
uh bohemian rhapsody probably oh okay i
mean i love that one too but mines don't
stop me now i was seeing if we were how
much on the same
page yeah
yeah
so you've got a book let's say somebody
licensed it to make a movie who would
you want to play you
in the movie of your story
bradley cooper
yeah um
he's
he's
handsome as well he's i loved him in the
store he's born he plays a good drunk
but he's really sober in real life
um
so yeah i think that's a good answer
i think it's an excellent one michael
coming out in that movie is i knew
something i've never seen the first one
i never saw the first the stars born
with uh yeah i never saw the first one
there's two before it
nobody else knows that except you i
never saw the one yeah
nobody knows that um i never saw the
first one to where like people knew
what was gonna happen because they'd
seen that one i never did but i knew
something was gonna happen to him when
the first scene he's in the back of the
car taking a handful of pills drinking
i'm just like
i can already tell you he's gonna die
and it's not a spoiler alert because the
movie's been out for years so but it was
just kind of like man
i love bradley cooper i just knew
something was gonna happen
there's nooses isn't there like in that
scene as well in the background there's
like a load of nooses on the digital
screen which i didn't notice to the
second time i watched it but
it was quite i did not know that
yeah there is watch it again you'll see
loads of stuff about that i have to
check that out i did i didn't catch that
either until you brought it up in the
opening scene
yeah when he's in the back of the car
taking pills and that right at the start
there's like he's in the dark and
there's like a bright light sort of like
this you know i don't know what
advertising board or whatever and it's
got like about six nooses just hanging
down on the screen i just got the chills
i don't know why
yeah
oh yeah for sure for sure um
okay
let me think
that would be good if you could have any
superpower what would it be
um
to be invisible
why is that
for obvious reasons
otherwise you're going to the girls
locker room at the gym i don't know um
uh would be okay to go stalk david
beckham
[Music]
um i think that'd just be useful in
every single way wouldn't it you could
just
you know find that was going on in the
world you could go and you know
manipulate
the bank and kind of give yourself as
money as possible i don't know there's
loads of things you could do being
invisible i think it's limitless so that
would be the one i'd go for what about
you guys
i like that it was uh for a mischievous
reason teleportation yeah bam i'm in new
york bam i'm back in l.a bam i'm in the
uk i don't need to fly just teleport
right then and there you don't got to
wait in lines you don't got to go
through security you don't got to sit on
a 12-hour plane ride you're just there
bam if you're in a look girls locker
room you'd still be seen
but you'd be gone in a second
[Laughter]
uh my mind when i people have asked is
healing like if someone had an ailment
and i could touch them
you know see that just makes us look
stupid
yeah i was joking
just kidding
too
[Laughter]
it's uh it's just because i was there
such a buzz kill i was i was when my
maternal grandmother passed away i was
in the room when my paternal uh
uh
no well my fraternal grandmother i was
there hours before she did and you know
i know there was a lot of pain so it's
not even necessarily heal them so that
they
you know people don't pass but that it
was just more of a peaceful experience
so
that's that's my thing i know i'm the
jackass ruining everything yeah you
gotta kill the moment kill the vibe
and then second would be the the
invisibles going into the girls locker
room with you
to bring back the humor um hey matt we
really appreciate this man um before we
ask you to leave us with some final
thoughts and words uh if people want to
get a hold of you
uh find you on social media get the book
how can they do so
yes i um my website www.www.lifegaia.com
my instagram is better the school life
underscore guy and on facebook i'm a
better lifeguard as well
so that pretty much covers that and then
the book here about me bayou is on
amazon in pretty much most major
countries around the world and it's
definitely in the us and canada so
that's all good uh yeah and that's
that's pretty much me that's where i'm
at but mainly on instagram and matt if
you could leave anyone that's struggling
um with maybe it's substance abuse or
mental health issue or just you know
unfortunate uh
tragedies and traumatic events that you
similar to what you've gone through what
might you lend to
i them
what i say to people often is like
you know alcohol is never the answer and
going sober is difficult but if you
treat sobriety like
a relationship breakup
because or you know two ways to look at
it you you break up a relationship it's
really sucks for a few weeks or months
um and it's difficult
but after three months you start
thinking okay after a little bit better
and after a year
you can't believe you ever did it in the
first place and i think once people like
visually see that timeline ahead of them
they understand that when it's [ __ ] they
know that it's just [ __ ] because you
gotta tick off this checklist day off
you know in the journey because every
day we get closer to feeling better and
living a better life and i feel like if
people know that journey and see that
timeline ahead of them it makes the
journey a lot easier specifically when
you're you know feeling it and it's
tough so i you know i'd suggest anyone
should take a break from alcohol give it
a try three months six months you know
really
lean into the emotions you feel really
enjoy the fact you get better sleep
every night enjoy the energy you have
enjoy the fact you're going to look
better and feel better enjoy the fact
you're going to be closer and better
with your relationships and you know
then you can make a decision what what
you do longer term but yeah i think
don't go straight into the bright i
think you don't you're gonna drink
you're not gonna drink forever because
that can be quite overwhelming for
people but if you look at it and break
it down if you're gonna do three months
try it
see the vision ahead know that it's
gonna be difficult at times but no
that is a hundred percent worth it
hey matt thank you very much
thank you this has been a blast i'll
come on again one day
absolutely hell yeah hey mikey got
anything else no i'm going home on that
note keep knocking doors down people
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