Should I Ignore My Parents and Sell My New Car?


is in harrisburg pennsylvania hi maria

how are you

i'm good dave how are you better than i

deserve what's up

so here's my situation i still live at

home with my

stepdad and my mom i currently drive a

2018 sport escape and i owe about

a little over thirteen thousand dollars

left on it

plus i have a student loan that

i have 11 grand left to pay on

i feel kind of stuck because my stepdad

doesn't think i should sell

my car to pay off my loan

in full um and i thought it would be a

good idea but

they don't think so so what do you think

i should do

how old are you i'm 27

and what do you make

can i give you a salary or does it have

to be what's your household income what

would you make if you didn't live

there what's your income uh as of right

now i make

i make uh 13 an hour 40 hours a week

so okay and you're only working 40 hours

a week

yes yeah so what are you making 25 30

000 a year right

i would say so yes what do you do i work

in a greenhouse it's actually a place

where we grow lettuce for grocery stores

so it's cool yeah okay what's your

long-term career plan um

i'm not 100 sure what i want to do but


i'm just trying to focus on the debt and

just tackle it

with as much as i can okay

um and your step dad and mom are not

multi-millionaires i take it

no they're not i worry about them

sometimes yeah

okay with their retirement i do too

because they don't have any money

because they've had car payments their

whole life

and that's the advice they're giving you

and so we really uh they're sweet people

and they're giving you a place to live

we want to respect that

but they're financial advice you don't

take financial advice from broke people

no even if they're people you love and

you love and you respect them otherwise

and all that kind of stuff and so

you know we just don't do that so um

what would be wrong with you just moving

out and selling your car

that's a good point i never thought of


i just i i as a dad i have trouble with

someone who won't take my advice staying

under my roof so i hate to tell you to

not take his advice and stay under his


right but his advice is wrong you're i

agree with you on that but i also

want to respect the fact that he's

providing you shelter and so and none of

this is in a panic because you're not

completely broke or something you can


make a plan and say you know over the

next 90 days i'm going to save up some

money i'm going to work extra you're

only working 40 hours just kick in your

hours pick up an extra job doing


and pile up some money and get you a

little apartment and sell the truck

right i have about a little over

almost four grand in my savings i wanted

to save up for

something perfectly good that's used and

i think that seems logical

yeah that's great that's logical and it

gets you out of you know and i think you

got to work on your career side long


because i don't you don't want to be 53

working in the greenhouse 13

because you didn't ever do anything it

didn't ever move up in your world right

whatever your world is i don't care move

up in it

and let's start doing that but you know

you start setting some career goals and

start saying some things

something happens when you move out

whether you're 27 or whether you're 22

or whatever something happens in your uh

you know it's just like it's kind of

like when they let go of the seat of the

bicycle you better pedal

you know because you're gonna fall

freaking over if you don't right so

you've got a pedal and that's it's good

for you to pedal like that

i don't know john what are you thinking

i think you got to move out this sounds

like a broader

issue to it we're talking about a car

payment but it's not about that it's

about being 27

still making 13 bucks an hour still

being comfortable and like you said dave

i love that analogy you got to get off

the bike and just start pedaling

yeah let them let go of the seat and

it'll be good for them too

and um you know you don't have to be

disrespectful to them

in this regard i mean i have friends

that don't know how to vote and i'm not

disrespectful for them

i just float the wrong way i still love

them but i can

you know and i have people that disagree

with on you know lots of things but i

can be respectful to them and kind to

them but that doesn't mean i have to

follow their advice or go along with

whatever they tell me i have to do

especially moms and dads that

you know are doing the best they can

yeah but the only tools they got in

their toolbox right yeah

but i mean if you know if you want to

eat healthy and your mom's 400 pounds

and she doesn't think that's a good idea


you probably need to eat healthy right

or your coach is not doing there you go

get nutrition advice from somebody else

exactly i mean that's just you can't you

can't do that and so

um that's what you're facing so you got

some career stuff going on you got some

debt stuff going on and you got some

moving out stuff going on

and the three of those are going to work

together to completely change your life

in the next 12 months

it's going to be amazing yeah and that's

i love what you said there's nobody's in

a panic nothing's on fire but start

saving your money and get out four

thousand dollars you can probably start

working on looking for a place right now

and then

you know use a thousand of that to get

moved out and then save you up a

thousand and get rid of the escape and

you know

yeah um amazing you should go on

vacation more you come back

you come back a poet man that's


yeah hardly but yeah yeah so i mean that

that's the thing

and um so yeah

i i i always hesitate to tell somebody

to disobey someone who they're living

with you know and to not respect their


advice and so really tantamount with

selling the

escape is you really need to be out of

there because it's being

you know he's telling you and he's

furnishing you a place to live and so

i don't know how toxic that advice is or

how controlling it is or whether it's

just a casual thing i think you'd be

silly sell a truck you know

or if you sell the truck i'm throwing

you out you know i don't know which

which version of this we've got

but um i think it all comes back to who

you're giving a vote to right who you're


permission to speak into your life and

as long as you live under somebody's

roof and you're eating their food and

using their electricity and water

they own you there's a thing that goes

with that that's right that's the thing

that goes

if you aren't using mine yeah you would

go by my rules while you're exactly

right that's how this is you're not


you know we go to church on sunday we

don't do drugs we don't sleep around

these are what ramsay that under my roof


you know it's that simple you don't want

to be at my house and you have to be in

my house get your own

that's how this works