welcome to the egg Whisperer show a
program exclusively designed to promote
reproductive health awareness and
discuss fertility preservation options
here is your host a harvard-educated
fertility specialist dr. Amy she's known
as the egg whisperer fertility expert
and you have yet another success story
just launched by an East Bay fertility
doctor hi everyone thank you for joining
me on tonight's egg Whisperer show I'm
dr. Amy a fertility doctor here in the
San Francisco Bay Area and I love
talking about fertility I love educating
people I started this show so that
people can learn the egg whisperer way
of doing all things in tonight's show is
about everything you need to know about
being an egg donor whether you're an egg
donor right now whether you've been an
egg donor in the past whether you're
considering it or if you have a family
member that is talking about it a friend
send them the show please share it with
them I started a program called freeze
and share you can look it up on freeze
and share calm I'm so passionate about
this topic because young women are
donating an egg at the time when they're
the most fertile not necessarily
realizing that implications of what that
means for generations to come so guys
please watch this show I don't want
anyone to look back after their egg
donation and say why didn't I learn this
stuff first that's what I'm going to
talk about tonight so the first question
I want to answer is what is egg donation
well it's not as simple as just
answering an ad on Instagram or Facebook
showing it for a consult and then your
egg donations is done it's not it
involves injections hormones lots of
doctor's visits and ultimately a surgery
to extract eggs and that surgery has
risks as well and I'm going to talk
about that tonight
and then the recipients of eggs you know
my patients who I see every day who need
eggs they ask me questions like Amy who
would donate their eggs in the first
place I'll tell you who really kind
people women who want to make a
difference in the world and they want to
give the gift of life oftentimes they
have a connection to someone who's had
fertility issues maybe our friend has
also been an egg donor and had a really
good experience while there is a
monetary enticement certainly because
these young women are being offered
you you're being offered money to do it
but I can tell you all the doctor's
visits the injections the needles the
hormones the side-effects I don't
necessarily know that anyone would do it
if there wasn't a feeling of altruism
that was involved in this process
because like I said you are giving
someone one of the most amazing gifts
and that's the gift of being a parent
so that is who becomes an egg donor it's
not someone that's just doing it for the
money obviously the money helps but at
the same time when you're going through
so much
it isn't like being a sperm donor when I
take a breath right now if I was a guy
look I just made six thousand sperm
cells I didn't actually but that's the
equivalent for a man so if a guy is
gonna be a sperm donor I mean each sperm
cells maybe about a cent the effort that
goes into making that sperm very very
little no guy needs to go into surgery
they just need to take a cup go into a
room watch a movie and then voila he
gets paid a hundred bucks but for us as
women it involves surgery involves drugs
so much more than it does for a men
I really hope one day there will be a
way that we won't need egg donors we
won't need to put women through surgery
to donate eggs to someone else but until
I have that tool in my toolbox this is
how it's going to be so thank you for
all of you who are watching this show
who are going to be future egg donors
thank you for giving families this gift
I support you and I want to make sure
you're protected and safe from start to
finish next question I wanted to answer
is who can donate eggs
you know women that reached out to me
and they say you know I'm 42 years old I
really want to donate my eggs to my
sister who's 44 well I'm not gonna say
no you can't do that when you have a
special bond with a family member what
I'll say is you know what and that age
chances are very low that you'll have X
to donate but let's answer that question
let's check your AMH level mhm for those
who don't know is a hormone that's
secreted by cells that surround eggs we
run out when we go through menopause so
that level kind of tells us how many
eggs you have left and how many eggs you
could potentially donate so for example
an average level at 42 might be let's
say point 2 to point 4 you know
something like that so that mate means a
fertility doctor like me might retrieve
about four eggs or so is that enough to
to another family member when each egg
has less than a 10% chance of being
genetically normal well if it's
something that you want to do because
you're family something to talk to a
fertility doctor about otherwise we look
for people who are you know under age 32
in general I don't have a hard and fast
rule about age I look at the whole
picture and the individual and what
their fertility history is what their
follicle counts are and then decide if I
think they would be a good egg donor
candidate for my patient but generally
we like patients or egg donors that
don't have any current psychiatric
issues haven't been on antidepressants
don't have any clotting disorders for
example and then we look at family
history as well I'll tell you someone
where who I would say I don't think you
should be an egg donor someone whose
mother and maybe a sibling who have all
had breast cancer I would say you know
what I'm worrying about your future risk
of breast cancer we should do a genetic
cancer screen first and if you're
positive maybe still reconsider being an
egg donor
or someone who's had a clot on for
example a birth control pill you know
certain hormones can increase the risk
of clots and so you know potentially you
should not be an egg donor so go through
the screens talk to a doctor if you
still want to do it make sure you're
still a good candidate and you're not
putting yourself in harm's away because
no one wants an egg donor who's harmed
and then the question is for you who are
watching who needs eggs well if you're
gonna be an egg donor your eggs can go
to let's say a woman who's in menopause
and that woman can be even 25 years old
or 45 years old your eggs could go to a
same-sex male couple who are trying to
conceive or a single father by choice so
all of those are options and then at the
end of the day you have to ask yourself
is that something you're okay with and
if that's the case would you want to
know the families who are you're
donating your eggs to if it were me I
would be super super curious about where
my eggs were going I'd want to know I
wouldn't want to be wondering who's
gonna knock on my door in 18 years so a
young person who's let's say 25 years
old I'm interviewing you oftentimes
you'll tell me you know what dr. Amy I
don't even want kids and I say to myself
sure you don't right now of course you
don't want kids
because you know you're not thinking
about that but maybe in ten years you
will want kids and once you start having
kids
then those questions will start coming
up for you because you'll see your kids
and you'll wonder about your other the
the donor can save kids from your
donations and you might start asking
questions so the time to ask those
questions and think about all these
things is before your donation and if
you've already donated it's still not
too late you can still meet with a
psychologist talk about these things to
really answer these questions for
yourself so another common question I
get is when can you do it so this is
when when you're in town I know that
sounds silly but you don't want to plant
an egg donation cycle right before a
trip to Europe for example because like
I said you're gonna be very bloated you
want to make sure that you're safe at
all times and you know the emergency
numbers for who you should call if let's
say you feel severe pain or you feel
you're really bloated
if you're out of the country or on a
trip somewhere and you're not local to
the physician that you worked with
during the egg donation it's gonna be
very very difficult for you to get the
emergency care that you need so when I'm
planning an egg donor cycle for a
patient of mine and I refer to my egg
donors as my patients and their lifelong
patients to me when I see an egg donor I
always make sure that the cycle calendar
is very convenient for them convenient
for their work life convenient for their
personal life because at the end of the
day we want to make sure that we're
doing the best for the egg donor which
is you and you always come first to me
your comfort your schedule I don't want
this to interrupt your work life and so
we always make the calendar in a way
that fits things for you so now the next
question that I'm often asked is where
and how does it happen so patients come
to me in my office here in the San
Francisco Bay Area I meet with them and
then I put them on medications like I
shared with you a shot at night every
night for about ten nights and then
you're coming to the doctor's office
about five or so times before you even
start the medications though there are
other screening visits legal contract
that has to be signed psychological
evaluation as well so it's not as easy
as just showing up to my office but
certainly I'm trying to make this
back as easy to understand and concise
so that you will continue to watch and I
promise I'll have a good joke at some
point somewhere so keep watching so the
next question is this like what meds do
you take well they're shots let me show
you a syringe this is basically what a
syringe looks like and you can mix the
medications for yourself or you can have
the clinic mix for you we often mix meds
for donors they don't have to worry
about learning the process but this is
basically what a needle looks like if
you can't see it you know the needle is
about this long and it just goes into
the skin of your tummy I will not show
you my tummy until I have six-pack ads
and I'm hoping to be working on that at
some point soon so the risk of going
through an egg donation or many I mean I
know that sounds scary like what many
but by being frequently monitored and
having the levels of your hormones
titrated and being under the care of a
physician you're gonna have a low chance
of having any complications but the
risks are of a condition called severe
ovarian hyperstimulation having pain
severe bloating needing a follow-up
surgery having a ruptured cyst and then
obviously the side effects breast
tenderness bloating patients tell me
they feel like a potato and my patients
who are egg donors they don't like
feeling bloated and then they want the
bloating to go right away gone like
immediately after the egg donation but
what I'll share with you is it's after
the egg retrieval that your ovary still
feel really bloated and swollen and that
first period after the egg retrieval
that can be really really heavy and
don't be scared
that's very expected because you're
gonna all ate more than one egg and all
those hormones tell you're lying to get
really thick so that period can be quite
crampy and Claudie so you want to make
sure to take pain medications and have
pain meds on board for after the egg
retrieval as well the other thing that
can happen is severe constipation I you
know I heard stories with patients you
know try and avoid a poop emergency and
take stool softeners after the egg
retrieval so that you don't have to
visit emergency room because of
something as silly as constipation but
it's not silly when it happens to you
and you're in emergency room so what
happens after you donate so after the
egg retrieval your period starts and
that's it
and then you move on with your life
sometimes egg donors go back and they
want to donate again if you have a
really good experience I recommend that
you do so but if you feel like you know
what I think I did my good deed in life
and I don't want to do this again
that's definitely okay too but I want to
make sure that you don't have these
questions that are dwelling that might
come up later and might cause you to
have egg donation regret that's kind of
what I don't want to happen with any of
the egg donors that work with me as a
fertility physician so I talked about
all these things when I screen egg
donors when I talk to you on the phone I
often do a video consult if you're not
in town or you come into my office and
we'll meet and review and talk about the
process and make sure you're aware of
all the things that I'm talking about
right now so here are my last thoughts
I'm gonna call these my egg Whisperer
pearls of egg donation wisdom so to
speak so these are the things that egg
donors out there tell me they tell me
that they never meet the doctor during
the entire process from start to finish
and maybe they see someone that
identifies themselves as a doctor on the
day of the procedure which is the egg
retrieval surgery that's not okay I mean
I don't think that's right especially
for egg donors who are going through
this for the first time they shouldn't
really meet the doctor so please if
you're going to be an egg donor please
ask to meet the doctor that's going to
be caring for you and the other thing
that I want you to do is make sure you
know the emergency phone number for that
physician I give all my patients
including egg donors my personal cell
phone number emailing me is kind of like
calling me but if anyone needs me after
I'd come to sleep at night they know
exactly how to get a hold of me through
my office or through my cell phone so
that if there's anything I can do to
make sure that you're gonna stay safe
you know I'm gonna do it whether it's
just recommending hey take more motrin
or you know what you need to drink some
more Gatorade because it sounds like you
might be dehydrated that's really
important stuff for patients to know and
so if you don't know the phone number
how are you gonna know who to contact
and I've certainly heard stories from Ag
donors where they said they called and
they called and no one called them back
and finally someone called them back
three days later and they ended up in
the hospital with severe ovarian
hyperstimulation syndrome
needing extra procedures and surgeries
which I think can be avoidable in
certain situations the other pearl of
wisdom is ask questions before you sign
your legal contract and at the time of
your psych evaluation so all egg
donations go through or all egg donors
go through legal counseling with an
attorney during that point you are
signing things like do I agree to embryo
donation from embryos created from the
eggs that I have donated do I agree if
any eggs are frozen from this egg
donation that the family can donate them
to other families those are the things
that you need to decide for yourself
this is what I tell egg donors I say
look what you can say is I agree to
having embryos donated from this egg
donation but I just want to know about
it and if I choose I want to make sure I
know who the embryos are going to first
that's the kind of stuff that I would
want someone to share with me and talk
to me about if I was an egg donor
because at the end of the day there's no
such thing as DNA privacy anymore you
give someone your egg you're giving them
a piece of you that they can forever
trace so they have that piece of you and
it's unfair that it's not a two-way
street so if you're an egg donor and you
want to know that information it's
important to ask but not all egg donors
do and that's so okay - it's just
important to know what your wants are so
that they can be met during this egg
donation process and if they're not met
that is not the recipient couple for you
it just isn't so find a match that you
think will be good for you and meet the
requirements that are important to you
like meeting the family that you're
donating talking to them ahead of time
and you don't have to do it in a formal
setting it can be through the
psychologist in a protected way and it
doesn't have to necessarily be a
situation where you're sharing your name
you can do it in an anonymous way but at
least you'll feel comfortable that you
know that your eggs are going to a
really great family and vice versa that
gives them a time to to really show
their gratitude to you and that's
something that all my families share
with me through the egg donation process
they're always saying any make sure you
tell her egg donor
thank you please say thank you to me
please say thank you to me and I have
the joy of receiving baby pictures from
failings that you guys you AG donors
have shared with me and I feel so much
joy and I often reach out to egg donors
and saying you I just want you to know
that you've done something so great and
I'm so lucky to have been the doctor as
part of this egg donation because
there's they're just sharing how
thankful they are for what you've done
for them and how you've made their lives
so much better you've created you've
caused such a powerful positive impact
on these people that you've helped so
thank you guys for considering egg
donation so the other pros of window
wisdom is to make sure you know what Oh
H s s precautions are so o SS is
something that every egg donor should
know about and how to prevent it it
stands for ovarian hyperstimulation
syndrome and it can be mild moderate or
severe it's the severe stuff that we
want to prevent so that's when your
ovaries gets so swollen that you have a
hard time breathing
you need potential hospitalization you
need surgery to remove fluid from your
abdomen it's there are things that we
can do to prevent that from happening
one of the things there this if you're a
first-time or one of the things is this
if you're a first-time egg donor start
on a low dose and get screened early
with your estrogen level and often in
the cycle get monitored so if I have a
first-time egg donor and for example of
her am age is really high then I'm gonna
start her on a low dose have her come
back in after two days of meds I know
that sounds like a lot of monitoring but
your safety for the egg donors out there
listening is so important to me I don't
care how many times I need to do
check-ins to make sure you're okay your
safety is number one to me
so check levels adjustments come in
every couple of days and then at the
time the egg retrieval there are special
medications that we use to trigger
ovulation they're medications we use
after the egg retrieval for example like
bromocriptine we use Lupron for trigger
you can also use Fumero at the time of
the trigger shot there are lots of ways
that we can treat patients so that we
protect them and everyone's situation is
different everyone's AMH is different
and then if you're not a first-time egg
donor
be aware that you can still have a chess
s for future in future egg donations so
don't take the fact that you were safe
in the first one and didn't
have a variance hyperstimulation the
second one you could and that brings up
this point if you're an egg donor please
please get involved with your care know
what you're taking why you're taking it
and the doses that you're taking and
that cycle worked well for you and
you're going to be an egg donor again
don't show up to the second clinic and
say oh I don't know what I took and not
be a participate in your care I always
ask donors Oh what what was the best
cycle of that you experienced why or why
not what would you do differently with
experiences that you had to improve the
care this next time and they'll tell me
you know dr. Amy it was cycle number two
that I did the best I had the best
recovery and it'll be like you know
that's the protocol that I'm gonna use
then but if you're an egg donor you
don't know what the protocols were if
you just forget about them throw away
all the stim sheets it's not really
gonna help the future physicians that
help you so be sure to keep records keep
your keep everything in a file so that
when you go for your next egg donation
if they haven't already gotten the file
from the agency that you're working with
you can provide that to the doctor and
always ask questions so if it looks like
your dose just isn't quite right if it's
super high or maybe you think your dose
should be higher because in the past you
did better on a higher dose communicate
that with a doctor because at the end of
the day it's about your body and you
want to make sure that you are always
protected and safe so what I'll do is
I'll close tonight show with talking
about something that's a passion project
for me and that's phrasing shared Calm
so I started Friesians share freeze and
share I should say that ten times
several years ago and it was so that
young women could freeze their eggs for
free obviously it's not for free because
they're doing that in exchange for
donating them to a family in need and
it's a win-win for everybody for people
who want to be a part of this part of
this Paula I need a word I need a word
I've been up since 5:00 and part of this
process but basically I want everyone to
know about it I want every egg donor to
know about freeze and share before they
go through AG donation I want you to
know that you can't ask for eggs to be
frozen for you and your first egg
donation you can make that part of your
care
egg donors everywhere to start asking
for it I hope that Friesen share is
something that fertility doctors
everywhere start talking to their
patients about at least this concept so
that we can improve care for women who
are in their 20s so that when they're 40
potentially needing eggs they don't need
an egg donor themselves when they've
already been an egg donor in their 20s
so thanks guys for watching tonight's
show I could talk about this forever but
I imagine you guys have lots of other
things to do I certainly didn't hit on
every possible topic related to this so
if you're curious about something you
want to send me a message you know how
to reach me email at egg whispered comm
or post your comment and on the YouTube
chat underneath this show tonight or in
the facebook live chat I'll definitely
take a look at it as soon as we're off
here thank you guys for watching and I
so look forward to talking to you guys
next week have a great night
welcome to the egg whisperer show a
program exclusively designed to promote
reproductive health awareness and
discuss fertility preservation options
here is your host a harvard-educated
fertility specialist dr. Amy she's known
as the egg whisperer fertility expert
dr. av+
and you have yet another success story
just launched by an East Bay fertility
doctor
[Music]
you