How to not give up on a long distance relationship
7 Stages of a Long Distance Relationship
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Research shows an estimated 75% of college students
will be in a long-distance relationship
at some point during university.
Even though social media, messaging apps and video calls
make it easy for couples to stay connected
while apart for extended periods of time,
long-distance relationships are anything but easy.
Studies have shown higher break up rates
in long-distance relationships that in close distance ones.
Oh, dear!
And while some long-distance relationships
even start out that way when couples meet online,
others transition from close distance
to long-distance relationships.
Here are seven stages in a long-distance relationship.
One, decision.
The first chapter in the book of long-distance relationships
is the decision to try to make long-distance work.
When one partner lives far away
or is faced with an opportunity or obligation
that requires travel,
and the other partner cannot or chooses not to go with them,
the couple has to choose between breaking up
or entering into a long-distance relationship.
Common factors that cause couples
to consider a long distance relationship are
travel due to job description or promotions,
a partner in the military,
education and emergency or family members moving.
During the decision stage,
partners evaluate whether they wanna commit
to a long-distance relationship and others decided it's best
to simply end their relationship.
Two parting.
Once both partners have agreed
to pursue a long-distance relationship,
so begins the second chapter titled parting.
They'll try to spend every minute together
before they're separated to make up for the weeks, months
or years they'll spend apart.
This is also the stage where partner should set boundaries
and make rules to keep the relationship healthy
when it transitions to long-distance.
Three, transition.
The transition stage
comes after one or both partners have left,
launching the long-distance part of their relationship.
In this stage, partners might be in a state of denial
or simply too busy with the practicals
of moving and adjusting to life
without their partner to dwell on
how the relationship has changed.
They'll probably message or call their partner frequently
and keep them updated on every little thing,
they might still feel like
they're still in a close distance relationship.
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And then comes four, realization.
Were you just about to call them to meet you for coffee?
Has the fact that you can't meet up with them
whenever you like just kinda sunk in?
Do you feel at a loss
because you could really use a hug from them right now?
If so, you've now entered the next chapter, realization.
During this stage, couples begin to process
what life is like without their partner.
They must face the reality
that they can't depend on their partner
to be there for them physically anymore.
The realization stage, while painful also teaches partners
to be more independent, have better time management
and improve their communication.
Five, jealousy.
Did they just post a photo of them
having fun at the beach with new friends?
Are they planning to go to an event
with their new colleagues?
Like, really?
Here you are not being able to even eat properly
because you miss them so much
while they've already made new friends.
Jealousy is a common stage in long-distance relationships.
In a study 125 U.S. college students who had been
or were currently in long-distance relationships,
concluded that jealousy was the most commonly experienced
negative emotion while they were apart.
Participants in the study reported feeling jealous,
not only of potential romantic interest,
but also a friends and family who got to spend more time
with their significant other than they did.
Six, doubt.
Now comes the climax.
Relational uncertainty is another typical stage
in long-distance relationships.
Long-distance partners reported that the longer they went
without seeing their partner face to face
the greater their relationship uncertainty became.
And if one or both partners have doubts
about the relationship
before the transition to long-distance,
their relationship has a weaker chance of surviving.
And seven, validation.
Validation is the last chapter in the book.
Partners in a successful long distance relationship
will find themselves returning to the stage again and again.
While the unsuccessful ones might end in stage six, doubt,
study show that the long-distance partners
are just as satisfied with their relationships
as close distance partners
when their partner actively listen to them
and responded in positive ways.
This means although long-distance partners
were not face to face
they still felt like their relationship improved
after phone or online communication,
as long as they could tell their partner supported them.
This study points to the importance of disclosure
and open and honest conversations
in long-distance relationships
to build trust and validation.
Long-distance relationships are high maintenance,
but very rewarding.
Once partners decide to commit
to a long-distance relationship,
they'll inevitably go through new experiences
without their partner.
Long-distance relationships
may come with jealousy and doubts,
but they also offer an opportunity for partners to step back
and re-evaluate their relationship.
And if they find themselves
choosing each other again and again,
then their relationship has a strong chance of working out.
Are you in a long-distance relationship now?
Have you observed these stages
in such relationships around you?
Do let us know in the comments below.
Also remember to like and share this video
with those who are or in the near future
might be in a long-distance relationship.
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Thanks for watching.
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