How to not get jealous easily in a relationship
How To Stop Being Jealous In A Relationship
Timecodes:
Stephane would you have some advice for
someone like myself who can easily be
jealous in a relationship I really hate
it when other men speak to my girlfriend
because I know that many of them are
trying to seduce her at the same time I
know that it would be unhealthy to tell
her not to speak to me to men anymore
what's your mindset around this okay a
few different things one is one thing
that I look at in question is do you
trust your partner do you trust your
partner if the answer is yes then you
have to decide that you're gonna trust
this person no matter what you know who
they are and know them better than
anyone and you got to trust to have
faith that they love you enough and they
trust you enough as well that they're
not going to betray the relationship
okay that's number one
Trust is so important to us and it's
something that you already do you
practice it every single day I don't
know how us as human beings we can get
in a car we can drive 50 miles per hour
and in the other direction there's these
other cars of complete strangers also
driving 50 miles per hour
you know in the direction that we're
driving and the only thing that's
separating from them driving into us and
us driving into them is a line in the
road to drive a car it requires a
tremendous amount of trust it does I
mean are trusting this stranger and they
can in a split second make a mistake and
they could crash into you and in your
life when you cross the street you're
trusting at the other cars that are
there right in front of you that they're
gonna stop or they're not gonna hit the
gas and run you over see trust is a
decision you decide to trust you don't
you decide not to think about it and you
say you know what I'm just gonna trust
I'm gonna have faith faith is when you
believe when there's no reason to
believe so that's number one you got to
trust this person if you're gonna be in
a relationship with them seems like if
you're jealous
part of you maybe is lacking that trust
in which case that is something you can
look at within yourself why maybe you
have baggage maybe someone broke your
trust in the past that you haven't let
you haven't healed yet and forgiven them
for and resolve that okay you got to do
work on yourself if that's okay
or maybe your partner has broken your
trust in which case you have to develop
that back with them and have great
communications so that you do trust each
other or maybe they've crossed a line or
a boundary at different times and you
just going to make sure that you have
that that communication and that bond in
that foundation for your relationship to
work so that that's the first thing I'd
say the next thing I'd say is look at
yourself and the end scarcity fear a
insecurity that's coming out for you and
that is something you have to work and
heal and resolve within yourself to be
more secure because listen if you were a
confident person a secure person you
know it wouldn't bother you you wouldn't
feel threatened by other men talking to
to your girlfriends you know I'm in a
situation with Tatiana she's a beautiful
amazing human being well she has men
approached her all the time you know all
the time men approach her stare at her
she goes out with her friends men
approach her hit on her buyer you know
offer to buy her drinks online social
media people are messaging her all this
all the time but it doesn't bother me at
all because I know who she is I know the
trust that we built I know we have great
communication she tells me all this
stuff and I'm not threatened by that in
any way but another reason is I know my
value I'm confident and secure within
myself right so I'm not threatened I'm
not affected by it the other piece to it
as well is I'm not attached either okay
I'm a big fan of the Buddhist principle
of non attachments all this material
world that were in is not going to come
with us so we don't need to have all
this attachment to it a lot of our
suffering based on Buddhist mindset and
philosophy is from attachment so here's
my mentality I have a total abundance
mentality in my relationship and in my
life
if Tatiana or if you're a girlfriend if
she would rather be with someone else
than you if Tatiana would rather be with
someone else than me and she'd be
happier with someone else then Who am I
to stop her Who am I to stop her I want
this if you really love this person you
want them to be happy don't you
right I mean you you love them you want
them to be happy you want them to be
free you want them to be fulfilled and
if they would rather be happy or someone
else than myself then I would bless that
now it would hurt me I'd be disappointed
I would be sad I'd cry I'd be hurt but
I'd get over it okay because I wouldn't
want this person to sacrifice their
happiness in life to settle with me if
they're not gonna be fully committed and
happy with me I don't want that and vice
versa
she wouldn't want me to be unhappy and
miserable but I'm staying with her
because I feel bad to leave her and you
know I'm just settling she doesn't want
that either we both want each other
what's best for each other that's love
that's unconditional love that's high
consciousness love where you sincerely
want what's best for the other person
even if it's inconvenient for you and
it's not what you want okay you can't
make things all about you okay that's a
selfish mentality selfishness is the
worst habit that destroys
relationships so that's the mentality
another analogy I've shared this before
in the relationship training I imagine
as if a woman or a man is like a
butterfly that's landed on your hand
it's beautiful you want to cherish it
you want to appreciate it maybe want to
curl up your fingers a little bit to
protect it but the reality is that
butterfly that person in your life may
fly away they could leave and that's why
you have to appreciate every moment
every opportunity you have with them now
a lot of people in relationships they're
terrified of that idea of that person
leaving a being with someone else they
get jealous protective and so what they
do is they close the grip they become
controlling you can't go it with your
friends you can't talk to other men you
know you you know they're they're
controlling of that person in jealous if
you do that if you do that listen to me
you will kill that relationship they'll
not feel free they are not they're gonna
suffocate that person and you're
actually gonna repel them even more
through your jealousy and your
our insecurities so instead what you
must do is just appreciate that
butterfly
I appreciate it love it praise it and
here's the key it is only when that man
or woman you're with right now it's only
when they are free to leave that they
will stay when you give someone that
freedom that's when they will stay
because it's their choice and it's not
because they feel like they're trapped
and have to be with you so I don't have
attachment to that I believe that people
are in your life either for a reason a
season or a lifetime and sometimes we
don't know what that is but you trust
and you have faith in life that again
everything in life happens for you not
to you
you
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