How to know who is a real friend
How to Know Your True Friends - Prof. Jordan Peterson
Timecodes:
Well let's talk about friendships for a minute
Here's how you know if someone's your friend
a) You can tell them bad news and they'll listen they won't tell you why you know you're stupid and why that bad thing happened to you
and how something worse happened to them once and you know derail the whole conversation
You, can actually tell them bad news and they'll listen so that's a good thing and then this is a weirder thing
you can tell them good news
and they'll help you celebrate
and that's a really good way of deciding who you should have around you
because if you have someone around you you know something good happens to you you're kind of afraid to
even admit it because you know god something good happen to you it's like
that
You let that be known and they'll certainly be taken away
so you know you you come out and you sort of tell someone
half-heartedly that something good happened to you and then they give you a whack and then talk about
you know
Some of the great thing that happened to them three years ago or worse the great thing that happened to someone that they knew three years ago
You know it's like go away from that person, they're not helpful to you
and they're not helpful to themselves either
and so you want to surround yourself ... you've got to think about this
You've got to surround yourself with people who want the best for the best part of you
you can hang around with weasels and losers that are trying to pull you down
To justify the fact that they're spiraling downhill as well
and you know the upside of that is you don't have to have any responsibility
you can all whine about how wretched life is you know so that's pretty attractive
But I would say it's also a mid... bad medium to long term plan
and so it's it's acceptable and desirable
to try to surround yourself, with people who are facilitating your development
and you know you might say well i've got people around I know them well you know
they're they're not doing that well and and they're and they don't fit into that category it's like
what's your point?
What are you going to do with them exactly
if they'll if they'll listen and cooperate with you and move towards a better future
Great
If they don't pay any attention and they keep doing the same damn things over and over and they're not going anywhere and it's painful
then maybe the proper thing to do is say "you just have your misery"
I'll go off and have my life and maybe you'll wake up at some point in the future and think that's a better way of being
because just putting up with it is almost... well they call that enabling right
you put up with that sort of behaviour
you're providing tacit consent for it and even tacit approval it's like it's bad idea
you have
I would say both the right and the responsibility
To surround yourself with people who are good, for the best part of you
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