the big problem we have today is that we
think we shouldn't have any problems and
the problem that we have when it comes
to negative thinking is that we think we
shouldn't have negative thoughts we
think we shouldn't have these intrusive
thoughts and we called them intrusive
because you know if a happy thought
comes in when you don't expect it you
welcome that you're like yeah come in
happy thoughts come in all of you
comment I need you I need you negative
thinking it's intrusive and unexpected
because well you're not welcoming and
negative thought even if you don't
expect it or do expect it you don't want
it it's intrusive it's coming in without
your permission and you know I think
there's a big lesson that we can take
from Buddhism and from the practice of
mindfulness when it comes to negative
thoughts and any thought in general and
even though I don't know you personally
I've had experience over 10 years of
practicing mindfulness and meditating
every single day and we need to practice
detaching ourselves from thoughts
you need to practice not taking thoughts
so seriously you are not your thoughts
but Scott if I'm not my thoughts what
the heck am i well you're you you are
what you do not what you think I know I
think therefore I am whoever said that
Descartes but no when we become too
consumed in thought and again we chase a
thought down a rabbit hole and see where
it goes and one thought comes in that
ruins our day and you know debilitates
us emotionally that's us taking our
thoughts too seriously that's us
identifying with our thoughts I had a
negative thought therefore I'm in a
negative state I had a bad thought
therefore I'm a bad person right I had a
thought about jealousy therefore I'm a
jealous person and the Zen approach to
this the mindful approach is to be
The Observer practice noticing the
thought and watching it go away thoughts
don't last forever the average person
has about 20,000 thoughts coming and
going every single day they don't last
now at first they may knock you on your
feet and I totally get that I totally
get that and no more no matter how much
you practice mindfulness the thoughts
still come but there's that detachment
from them you are not your thoughts they
come out of nowhere they're not yours
you don't create them not all the time
you think if you gave your mind
permission you would be creating these
negative thoughts do you think you
create these intrusive thoughts and
unwanted thoughts because if it's up to
you you're gonna create positive ones we
don't want to self harm ourselves with
these thoughts so they come and you
notice and just like a blue sky the
thought is a cloud and you know to just
notice it passing notice it come and go
that's the Zen approach to any kind of
thought because you don't want to attach
to happy thoughts because happiness
comes and goes you don't attach to
negative thoughts because sadness and
negativity and these kinds of emotions
they come and go - it's about not it's
that non attachment that that non
permanence that Buddhism teaches and I
think that's really going to help you
with negative thinking and on this
channel there's a whole bunch of guided
meditation audios that you can go
through there's mindfulness for
beginners so please feel free to check
that out there's relaxing audio is that
you can just sit and practice the second
way we deal with negative thoughts is by
using cognitive behavioral therapy
cognitive behavioral therapy and we can
use one of these sheets here very simple
to use very simple okay and it's called
a thought record and what this thought
record allows us to do is basically what
we're going to write
okay we're gonna write what happened
what our thoughts were what our feelings
were what our behavior was and an
alternative thought as you can see all
these con columns now it's really simple
so check this out let's say the thought
that came into your mind that ruined
your day was you thought your girlfriend
or boyfriend was cheating on you you saw
them being a little flirty okay so
that's the thought how does that affect
how we feel well now we feel anxious
we're worried maybe we feel sad and
betrayed and unworthy okay then now how
that's good how is that gonna affect our
behavior
well maybe now we're gonna text our
girlfriend or boyfriend a little more
now we're gonna ask them where they are
all the time or why they haven't been
home or why they're so late from the
office right there's a easy connection
and you can think of countless examples
in your life in the lives of others of
how this really works all right it's the
thought triangle whatever you want to
call it now how do you deal with
negative thoughts in this case well
here's our thought record what we're
gonna do is write down the thoughts that
come in so you can write down the
situation you can write down your
emotions and and and by sorry emotions
and behaviors but the important part is
where you write down your thoughts and
where you write down alternative thought
aha because guess what the negative
thoughts that come in your mind 99% of
them aren't accurate there is no
evidence for them and you need to
challenge that so again in number one
the Zen approach is you don't challenge
you notice watch them come and go
there's that detachment non permanence
right in this way in CBT it's all about
challenging those thoughts saying hold
on thought I know you're you came in
here without my permission but I'm gonna
challenge you I'm gonna see where you
came from and what you're up to and if
there's any evidence for me believing in
that thought because when when a thought
holds no weight there's no use for it
you know it's not true the reason we
take our negative thoughts so seriously
an intrusive thoughts is because we
identify them and then believe they're
true they're not true
a lot of the time they are not true and
the CBT way to do that and deal with
that through the thought record is to
challenge those thoughts what's the
situation
what's the thought how you feeling how
you behaving what's the alternative
thought there's number two the third way
my way of dealing with negative thoughts
is first obviously to use the two
together that Zen approach right to do
not identify with these thoughts and the
second approach to challenge them when
they stick a little too much and they're
still there and they're still bothering
you and you need to break them out spill
them out on the floor dissect them find
the evidence and get rid of them right
just like taking out the trash
and my way is using those two plus a
third a third way and that is talking to
someone yeah because sometimes hearing
someone telling us that the thoughts are
the thoughts aren't you the
thoughts are completely irrelevant the
thoughts are you know just don't make
sense
that gives us relief because we feel
like we're not alone in that because
even you know even if you think you
don't believe it or sometimes it's not
enough for you just to believe it
sometimes you need someone else to kind
of tell you yeah man like no she's not
cheating on you or no no you're not
gonna get fired from your job job come
on man there's no evidence for that or
you know things along those lines where
you need sometimes an outsider's
perspective right because we get so
caught up in our own head sometimes we
can't see outside the bubble of
ourselves we did an outsider to say this
is the way I'm seeing the situation this
is the way I'm seeing your life and that
thought you had about what's going on is
complete garbage you shouldn't believe
that for a second
dude you are worthy you are good you're
not getting fired right your car is not
gonna explode on the freeway you just
got a new oil changing you went to your
mechanic why are you worried about that
they spill in the evidence for you plus
the mindfulness approach plus the CBT
and you have a delicious formula for
dealing with negative and intrusive
thoughts if this video is helpful to you
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