what's up y'all start to go clean I'm
back for another video and as you see
the title today we are talking about how
to not be insecure or jealous or all
that stuff while you're in a
relationship I don't know if you guys
could tell that I'm in a new setup it's
basically my same setup I upgraded a
couple things like lighting and such
like that so if it looks a little
different that's why if you guys know
I'm in my new apartment if you haven't
seen my last apartment tour go watch
that you're late but yeah you know guys
I'm still students so I have class in
like 40 minutes thirty minutes so I'm
just gonna knock this out for you guys
just so I can keep being consistent
because the show doesn't stop me oh but
that is not why you're here
so let's just get into this but guys if
you've not been to my channel yet what
do you do we're gonna give you a couple
seconds to do that did you do it
goodnight watch the video and welcome to
our family also follow me on my social
as we participate in polls all that fun
stuff or whatever let's get into this so
you're either in a relationship right
now and you're insecure or jealous
you've been in one or you're just you
know you're here's a preventive measure
proud of you regardless
so the first I'm gonna tell you guys is
being insecure and getting jealous is so
so natural it just depends on what level
you're taking it okay so this is what
I'm saying by that when you love
somebody right or when you're with
somebody it's very easy to let that
progress into like possessiveness but
something that you need to remember is
that person's life their body whatever
it is is not yours so you don't own them
you don't have ownership over that so
you can't really be jealous when other
people are interacting with them other
people are talking to them whatever it
is because they're not your property
but that's a whole other thing being
insecure and getting
from time to time is very very natural
especially if you have invented a lot of
relationships yet like you're young it's
very natural to just be like like I want
you to just love me but what is not
acceptable is when you're taking some
point where you're fighting this dude or
this girl every single day or you're I
don't know they're not allowed they're
not allowed we're gonna get it to that
they're not allowed to have friends of
the opposite sex or just interact with
people or whatever it is when you're
taking it to that level where you're
controlling when you're possessive when
you're like owning them now we have a
problem not to say that that's also not
something that's so so common but we
need to discuss it because that's not
healthy just for the purposes of making
this easier to keep up with I'm gonna
talk about it as if it was a guy cuz I'm
a straight woman but you can switch it
any which way it's open everyone of
course so anyway if you're just feeling
insecure in the sense of when a girl
walks by is he looking at her or this
girl has a bigger butt than me or bigger
boobs in New York blah blah blah blah
whatever it might be you're just feeling
insecure about your guy looking at other
women wanting other women there's
several layers to that the first thing
I'm going to ask you is if your man
making you feel secure now let me tell
you this it's not his job to make you
love yourself but it is a part of the
details of your commitment to make sure
he is keeping you a short and feeling
secure he's not out here talking about
every next girl he's not out here making
you feel less than other women he's not
giving you a reason to question him is
he making you feel secure in the
relationship that's question one if it's
know you have some considering to do
like do you want to stay with somebody
that is making you feel this way about
because this will take a huge effect on
you in the long term so I'm not gonna
tell you whether to leave that person or
not but okay now if answer is yes he is
with me feel secure but you're still
feeling insecure now we're moving on to
you
usually when women are feeling insecure
within a relationship about other women
it's usually other women that have
something that you lack so for example
if I wasn't secure in my relationship it
might be because a girl is thicker or
has bigger boobs or whatever because
y'all know I know unfortunately God said
no so anyway
typically it's over a girl that has
something that you don't so you feel
like she has a one-up on this is gonna
link back to my how to not compare
yourself video I'm gonna share you can't
compare yourself to other women because
here's the hard truth that you're maybe
doing here but y'all know I'm gonna tell
you the hard truth is there is always
going to be a woman out there that has a
one-up on you and that's just that one
literally always even if it's a tip top
girl a new girl will come and just knock
her off the totem pole it's always gonna
be a girl that 1ups you so if you
continue to just worry about the next
girl the next girl the next girl you're
gonna be stick for life what you need to
do is sit there and realize you know
what that's a bad job but if you if my
man is that easily swayed by a pair of
bigger boobs or a bigger ass I want the
man anyway and this is y'all know i'ma
get deeper on you this speaks to what
type of relationship you guys are in so
are you in the type of relationship
where you're genuinely together because
you have love for each other because you
like who they are as a person or are you
together because it's like you look good
I look good unless date because that's
gonna bring a lot of insecurity because
everybody look good baby there is the
next go right around the block so I'm
here that's a relationship get out of it
because that is such a points
relationship and you're gonna have so
many issues and infidelity is almost
inevitable but if you're together
because of who you are you have a
connection with a friendship there's no
reason for you to be
just about the next girl who has a
fatter ass or bigger boobs or whatever
cuz that's not why he chose you if you
wanted all that so bad why don't you
think you use your brain y'all use your
brain what's not clicking what's not
clicking it's okay for him to think
somebody else is attractive because
other people are attractive when you
start dating somebody that is just not
he's not your end-all be-all oh my god
everybody else is ugly now I only see
him know there's a lot of other
attractive people but I love you you're
my most attractive person in my eyes so
yeah that's what we mess up feeling like
we own other people and here's another
hard truth what goes on in his mind is
none of your business just like what
goes on in your mind is none of his
business
that's his brain he owns that not you
and then just as a pride thing because I
I feel that if all of that stuff didn't
speak to you
this should if you feel if you keep
talking about the next girl like if he
sees you be impressed about the next
girl that's just only gonna like pull
him towards her even more in my mind
right if I was your man right let's say
we're doing okay sexy so be dating right
and you keep talking about shorty over
there or I can see you pressed about
another girl I'll start being intrigued
because like damn she must be a bad if
my girls so pressed over here with what
she got going on oh dude you are doing
the opposite your gift you're making him
think of her even even more often like
you're your self sabotage baby you've
talked about the same girl keep thinking
about same girl keep looking that same
girl unless she's like an actual issue
in a relationship where she's like
disrespecting you and their relationship
that's in the story I'm gonna talk about
this brand new girl she just look good
you just can you just press amen this
reckful happen you just press so I'm
sorry if you've already been doing this
but you might want to start
backpedaling sweetie so yeah that's just
that line again of just like what like
I'm not gonna keep making him think
about somebody else you should be
thinking all about me sweetheart so we
gonna talk about me me me me me hmm but
if your insecurities and stuff are like
eating you up you probably should take a
step back from the relationship that
you're in regardless because I think you
have self work to do you need to find
your own self-worth you need to fall in
love back with yourself instead of
falling in love with somebody else you
how can you really fully have a healthy
relationship and truly give all of
yourself and fall in love with somebody
else if you haven't even fall in love
with yourself how do you expect somebody
else to fall in love with you you
haven't fallen in love with you so you
really need to build your own confidence
up and sometimes you can do that within
the relationship if you're with the
right person but a lot of times you can
do it on your own stuff can stem really
far back you might have abandonment
issues on all these issues and that
might be why you're feeling insecure
once you identify where your
insecurities are truly coming from then
you can work on them but if you don't
know where they're coming from and
you're just like allowing them to run
wild and free you will fall and that
relationship will fail and just get
scared that if you guys are building
your confidence on stuff while you're in
a relationship it's gonna be linked to
that person so god forbid they leave you
lose it's like well he didn't want me
and why did he leave and it'll do that
now you don't have that self-worth again
instead of making it about him it has
nothing to do with you does that make
sense I just want you guys to get to a
point where it's like okay if you're
choosing commune relationship because it
is a choice if you're choosing to be in
a relationship and you're with somebody
that you know does care about you then
let it be that and let things play out
that's just what it is and I know that's
easier said than done
but an easy way for me to think about
things like this is that I already know
everything that's already written out
like if you're spiritual or anything at
all like religious whatever it is just
remember your life was already written
out so whatever was meant to happen with
you and sir over here or ma'am over here
so you're just kind of going along for
the ride now let me say this I'm not
saying all this
so you actually just be like quite
little animes in the corner like no I'm
saying don't let somebody disrespect you
like if you're do this out here like
making you feel disrespected talking to
girls all the time liking all you girls
pictures and tweets and no he's being
disrespectful and he is easily sweet he
is interested just my opinion I don't
think liking a girl's picture just like
once or whatever like just liking a
picture is like then he wants her but I
don't know y'all know the difference
like if he liking pictures of girls you
know a scowl you know as a face down
type of situation oh my god those
situations this or like people want his
likes and it's just all girls or
whatever you max on the workout but he's
got a friend a song you gotta cool this
is now I know that sometimes people
don't play that friend stuff because
it's like I don't play that friend stuff
because if I was here if I wasn't here
you would be with it but this is how
I've coped with that because I think my
boyfriend is attractive I know a lot of
other girls my boyfriend is attractive
so yes you would take the chance if I
was here but you didn't have to change
so why am i why my price like I'm not
gonna be pressed about other women with
my boyfriend and be insecure about it
because if he wanted them he had every
chance to go pick any one of y'all but
he chose me that's how y'all need to be
there was something about you that your
dude picked you or CH wanted to be with
you chased you over all these other
women so why are you still looking
around at all these other women that he
dubbed for you when your insecurities
get to a toxic point where you're
letting them just spew out and there's
no acknowledgment of where it's coming
from you're ruined every relationship
ever
like you're not giving each one a solid
chance to grow because you're literally
like poisoning it with your own issue so
for now right obviously I still get
insecure from time to time my boyfriend
might like that's a whole nother thing
guys get insecure as well so understand
that this isn't just a woman's day and
women don't let her man sit here and
tell you oh yeah you can't have no guy
friends but I'm gonna have all these
girlfriends no even playing for you
that's not gonna fly at all don't let
men try to mask their insecurities
because whoo they are the ones to do it
don't let men mask their insecurities
into aggression into I don't know
defensiveness into disrespect don't let
them mask that because it's very very
hard for men to be vulnerable just
because of a long line of toxic
masculinity but we're not even gonna get
into that conversation it's very very
hard for them to be open honest and
vulnerable and say hey I'm feeling
insecure that's why I don't like you
talking to that guy so have that
conversation if your man is feeling that
way or have them watch this video so
hopefully this helped you guys a little
bit it's just a little pep talk y'all
know this is the breadwinner of my
channel I love doing these for you guys
it's my most requested type of videos so
if you guys have other suggestions on
how to videos that you want to see make
sure you comment them down below I read
all your comments yeah but before I go
you know how to get my shadow of the
week this week's shout-out goes to
Kennedy's vlogs thank you so much for
supporting me I saw your comment on my
apartment tour video and I just want so
you know that I love you so so much
and then we never change I also make
sure you like comment share subscribe to
improve the Keystone you got a lot to do
but I get to it yeah I will see you guys
in