[Music]
what's up y'all bricks for bricks
fitness and I'm going to continue the
conversation series I'm gonna have a
simple conversation with you guys first
and foremost go to Instagram I'm doing a
shirt giveaway right now find this
picture right here and follow the
instructions and I'm probably give away
like two or three shirts I feel like as
men we don't talk about our emotions
enough and I noticed what this is gonna
make a lot of people uncomfortable but
for me personally like being honest with
myself about my emotions being honest to
myself about how I'm feeling about
things change the game for me and we
don't discuss this sort of things openly
and I think we should um I don't think
there's a lot of information about how
men can deal with breakups or heartbreak
or whatever the case may be for you I
don't think there's enough discussion
going on about that so I'm just gonna
chime in from my experiences because
that's what I'd like to do with this
channel I like to share my experiences
in hopes that it helps someone because
I've been through a lot
I've been through some really really
terrorizing breakups a lot of the times
will will run it will run it's a
heartbreak will run into breakups when
we do things at the wrong time I think
timing is a very big factor when it
comes to successful relationships a lot
of times we we rush it you know we love
is a love is a very confusing emotion
and it can cause us to make decisions
that that are not necessarily the right
decisions for us at the time but they
are very necessary decisions because
those decisions lead us to experiences
that give that ultimately teach us a lot
and so my heart breaks and the things
that I've gone through ultimately became
wisdom you know I've read something the
other data said you know wisdom is
nothing but healed up scars and that's
that's so true
so I'm gonna give you guys a few tips on
how I think you should handle a break
based on my personal experiences right
this tip is going to be a little
controversial because it's really not
and and this is me just keeping it 100
with you guys it's really not the best
thing to do but it worked for me so I'm
going to share this with you when one of
my exes and I broke up she told me that
I would never be [ __ ] that I needed her
so she basically told me that I was
going to be a bum and when I tell you
that lit a fire under my eyes that drove
me that pushed me that made me really go
hard to prove her wrong in hindsight was
that the best sort of motivation was it
the healthiest sort of motivation
absolutely not was that the best way to
to kind of frame that situation
absolutely not but I'd be a fool to deny
that it had a part to do with where I am
today even though today that has nothing
to do with my motivation but those years
prior it did drive me to this direction
so here's my here's my theory on using
that sort of like revenge or you know
the the desire to prove someone wrong as
motivation if it's driving you in the
right direction right then by all means
use it that's that's my theory
eventually you'll you'll find out that
that's not what it's about you'll find
the real reason why you you're going
hard because if that's the reason it's
not gonna sustain is that motivation has
to change into something else that Y has
to change into something else in order
for you to really take things to the
next level but for a very long time it
drove me to want to be successful with
drove meets who want to lose weight you
know it just it just drove me to want to
prove her wrong and I'm so glad I'm free
from from from the restraints of of that
pressure or
hearing about what my ex thought it
feels really good not to care anymore
but like I said I'll be if I'll be a
fool to deny that it had anything to do
with me driving myself to where I am
today here's another tip when
relationships end they end for a reason
and for me it was oftentimes because I
wasn't I was at home and what I mean by
that is I was looking to relationships
to fill my personal voids or fill my
emotional voids these were voice that
could only be filled by by myself and by
God and I was turned into women to kind
of just just feel I had a lot of I got
mommy issues I had a lot of self-esteem
issues and I still do so I would turn to
women to kind of just like patch up you
know these things like I didn't know I
never wanted to be alone I had
codependency issues um so most of the
time when relationships end or
relationships don't work it's because
either party or both are just not in a
place to be a whole unit in that
relationship and it takes two whole
people in order to function like you
guys have to complement each other you
guys you're kind of like I for example
like I'm I'm right now I am a car right
my engine is good my Terrier is clean
right and I really smooth I could take a
trip right now to California boom but
when I met kami instead of her being my
engine or or my you know my exhaust
she's just she's my sunroof or she's my
v12 like she took me from a v8 to a v12
or she's my and I'm saying she's my
fancy Tesla - in - computer unit and I'm
saying like so but she wasn't she wasn't
the thing that made my car go so
you have to you have to be able to
function on your own and allow your
significant other to just kind of take
you to the next level but by yourself
you should be able to go so another set
when you break up right then this helped
me personally really assess the
situation really assess the relationship
and what happened and what I did was I
found ways to blame myself right
I no longer tried to blame the person
who I broke up with I tried to find ways
to blame myself
not necessarily alright blame is not the
right word I looked at faults in the
situation that were mine and I
brainstormed or I thought about how I
can do things differently going forward
so kind of Miranda heartache in the pain
as a lesson and as a tool to strategize
how to become better and this is
something that can be applied to
anything any kind of mistake any kind of
pain that you make really take the time
to analyze what happened analyze what
thoughts what behaviors you had that
contributed to that and try not to do
that ever again
so kind of like just reframe the whole
situation as a powerful lesson that's
going to teach you like I feel like this
thing nothing teaches you better than
the burn the pain so whether that's
heartbreak whether that's you know
depression whether that's you know
whatever you know consequences that you
may face in your life do to your due to
a particular decision there's nothing
that's going to teach you better than
that pain so if you're seeing a cycle
and you continue to get in and out of
relationships you and it's usually for
the same reason that they don't work um
the common denominator and all those and
all those relationships are you so my
suggestion is take time and be by
yourself
don't date don't you know don't just
like bone shakes take the time find
yourself work on finding your purpose if
you don't know what that is because most
of the time the right woman for you will
align with your purpose um and just
become whole build your relationship
with whatever your spiritual being
you know maybe or if you don't believe
in God that's fine too
um whatever floats your boat take time
to become whole you know work on your
engine and then when you're running
correctly then you can go out and find
your sunroof I hope this video was
helpful to someone I have meal plans
I sell meal plans guys if you go to
breaks Fitness comm there's a drop-down
menu and you can click meal plans I'll
be making milk plans for the next two or
three days all day long so you guys can
order away also make sure you guys will
follow me on Instagram Facebook Twitter
snapchat all of the above
at Brix fitness I appreciate you guys as
always I'm just trying to share the
Wellness so get well and get money
[Music]