being a father and husband isn't easy
you've got a lot of responsibilities and
it can be stressful
but you know that you want more you want
to be better
by the end of this video you will have
seven powerful tips
on how you can be a better father and
husband
this is advice that you can implement
immediately
hey guys i'm jason kreidman creator of
the dad university program our program
helps dads gain more confidence in their
parenting
improves their mindset and provides a
proven
fatherhood formula if you're interested
in learning more about our program
i'll put a link in the description below
also be sure to subscribe to our channel
and click on that notification bell
so you know when our videos are uploaded
it really helps us spread our message
when you share
our videos so maybe you know a couple
people that might enjoy it
please share it with them learning how
to be a better father and husband is
about what you
say what you do and even what you don't
do
let's take a look at the tips number one
take responsibility for your emotions
if you have ever said to someone you
make me so angry or
you are frustrating me or you hurt my
feelings
then you have blamed other people for
your emotions
one of my students had a huge awakening
with this
he realized that he was blaming his wife
for all the times that he was feeling
bad
you know she said this she did this and
so
she was affecting his emotions and he
realized that he wasn't taking
responsibility for them
so this was a huge realization for him
the problem with this is that when you
blame
other people the problem doesn't get
solved
you're just waiting around for them to
say the right thing or do the right
thing
and you're going to just be waiting it's
the same with our children
we get so frustrated and upset based on
the way that they act
why do we allow other people and what
they say and what they do
to affect how we feel it's a losing
proposition when you take responsibility
for your emotions
you are then in control you are not
concerned with what someone says or what
someone does
because it's not going to affect you
this can make you a better father
and a better husband you get to choose
happiness why wouldn't we all choose
to be happy number two express
appreciation
i talk a lot on this channel about
gratitude and
how important it is for our happiness
you know
gratitude is the antidote to depression
it's nearly impossible to be grateful
and depressed at the same time the more
you practice gratitude
the more likely you are to keep
depression away while gratitude is
that feeling inside appreciation is
better defined as the act of
showing that gratitude to somebody else
expressing appreciation as a father can
be
showing affection to your child or maybe
giving them a small gift
or just by saying thank you we often
think of
showing our appreciation when somebody
does something good
but what about just showing your child
appreciation for no reason
just because they are your child here
are some statements to show appreciation
to your child
i am so lucky to be your father
thank you so much for just being you
or i really appreciate you as for your
wife
i think all of us in relationships take
our partner for granted at
some point in the relationship we may
fail to show our appreciation
and let's face it everyone wants to be
appreciated
just like your child it is very valuable
to show your wife appreciation for no
reason
but for her you can certainly show that
appreciation for the things that she
does
if she works you can say i really
appreciate that you
work so hard for our family and if she's
a stay-at-home mom
you can say i really appreciate that you
take such good care of our child
just be genuine and express your
appreciation it doesn't matter if it's
erin's if it's just stuff she does
around the house
either way it's going to make you a
better father and husband
if you show your appreciation to your
family number three
don't take things so personally you have
to come to the realization
that not everything is about you we take
things
so personally your wife might be upset
about something that happened with her
parents or maybe she just got bad news
from a friend
or she's just feeling down overall but
again
this is not about you you just happen to
be the person in front of her
at that moment it doesn't make what she
says or does okay
but you don't have to take it personally
remember the first tip
about taking responsibility for your own
emotions
well guess what you also aren't
responsible for hers
so stop taking it personally if you want
to be a better husband
then don't internalize it you know
everyone has their stuff going on
even if you have a young child they've
got their own things going on too
you know your three-year-old is not out
to get you
you know we think that they are we say
how dare my child disrespect me or
don't say that to me now that doesn't
make what they're saying okay
but again we take it so personally
and that's what we need to stop number
four be empathetic
if there's one thing that you can
remember from this video it's to
be more empathetic it'll make you more
likeable and people will more easily
connect with you
being empathetic means that you are
putting yourself in the place of
somebody else
and really feeling it and looking at
that situation from their perspective
now you don't have to agree with the
situation or what they're doing
it's just you providing understanding
for example
your wife is really upset because she
just found out
her best friend is getting a divorce and
you respond with well
that guy was a jerk she's better without
him anyway
the fact is is that comment is not going
to help her feel better
certainly you might feel that way but an
empathetic response would be
i'm so sorry it sounds like that's
really upsetting you
she doesn't want advice she doesn't want
your opinion
she just wants to know that you
understand and when you are empathetic
you're looking at the situation from her
perspective
and she's upset about it you're not out
you're not offering it from your own
perspective
it's from her perspective and with your
child there's going to be tons of times
for you to be empathetic they may have
done bad on a test they may have had a
breakup they may have had an argument
with a neighbor maybe they just got hurt
but again to you it might not be a big
deal
but to them it is and so being
empathetic
is looking at the situation from your
child's perspective
and offering and saying hey i'm really
sorry that you did that or
i can see this really bothers you they
don't need your advice
they need you to say oh wow that looks
like that's really upsetting you
or i'm so sorry that you're going
through that
you are not looking at it from a grown
man perspective
you are looking at it from your child's
perspective
and when you do that your response
changes
and that makes you a better father and
husband number five
provide more affection let's start with
your child
this is probably the easiest way to
better connect
with your child and that's by providing
affection of course babies and young
children
love affection but even as a child gets
older
they appreciate the affection as well it
just might look
a little different smothering your teen
with a bunch of kisses
probably won't go over well for most but
giving them a good hug
putting your hand on their shoulder all
of those things can be great
for providing more affection even if
your child resists
continue to offer that affection it'll
make you a better father
and bring you closer together for being
a better husband provide your wife
affection
with no ulterior motive do not provide
her affection with the
intention of only getting her into the
bedroom if this is your motivation for
affection
the end result will be that she will
more than likely
pull away and won't provide any
affection at all
give her a hug a kiss a foot massage or
even just putting your hand on her
shoulder when you walk by
now just an extra tip do not smack her
butt when she's cleaning
or cooking or doing something unless she
has given you the green light to do that
number six be present this is focusing
on
what is happening now in front of you if
you are on your phone
while you're playing a game with your
child or having dinner with your wife
then you are not fully present it is
difficult to be present at all times
but the more you can be present the
better father and husband you will be
our phones are typically the culprit of
us not being present
but there are others our thoughts as an
example you may have something from work
weighing on your mind as you come home
to play with your child
or you're thinking of a past situation
and something that happened
and your wife's trying to talk to you
and connect
many many situations where our thoughts
keep us from being present one of the
ways to be more present
is to carve out that individual time
when you are working
work hard when you're with your family
focus on your family
so you write these things down even if
it's in a calendar that you know i'm
gonna spend
one hour with my child on wednesday
night playing a game
you know or i'm gonna do date night with
my wife put those items on your calendar
we put our work stuff on our calendar we
can certainly put our
personal stuff on our calendar if you do
this you'll be more efficient with your
time
you are better off spending less time
but it's
quality present time than spending more
time in which you are distracted
and not present number seven show
unconditional love
this is a foundational aspect of how to
be a better father and husband
unconditional love means that you love
your child and your wife
regardless of what they do regardless of
what they say
how they act or anything that they
become you love them
because they are your wife and child
your child doesn't need to get good
grades or
even behave properly in order for you to
love them
they need to know that you love them no
matter what
regardless of what happens or what they
do
you may not love their decisions at that
moment but you
love them regardless and even your wife
she may say the wrong
thing or do something you don't agree
with but that doesn't mean you don't
love her
you love her regardless that's
unconditional love
when somebody loves you regardless of
the decisions that you make or that you
fail that just feels really good
so be a better father and husband by
providing your wife
and child unconditional love all of
these tips are things that you can
implement immediately you don't have to
wait to be better
you can be better now i would love to
hear from you
which one of these tips really resonated
with you
what do you think you could implement
right now with your family
leave your feedback in the comment
section below if you want to go deeper
into
how to be a better father and husband
then you'll enjoy our dad university
program
i'll put a link to it in the description
below come check it out if you found
this video helpful you don't want to
miss what we have for you
in our other videos be sure to give this
video a thumbs up
subscribe to the channel and click on
that notification bell
if you know anybody that might enjoy
this please share it with them
i'll see you next time
you