hi it's Robin Sharma author if the
leader who had no title founder of the
Titan Academy and welcome to this
mastery session this mastery session is
all about why hard talks build power the
conversation you are most resisting is
the conversation you most need to have
what do I mean by that well all too
often we get hurt by someone or we get
upset by someone it could be a work
colleague it could be at home in our
family life and we are almost taught by
society not to speak up we are afraid
you know of being laughed at people
think could think we're weird we could
fail and a lot of us we think well we
could lose the relationship and end up
alone it's fear and so what it is it's
it's almost like non communication born
of fear but great leaders the best of
the best the most effective human beings
on the planet all have one thing in
common and they speak up and they share
their truth and the more you practice
again the quality of your performance is
all about the quality of your practice
and the more you actually practice
speaking up when you know you want to
speak up the more you will actually step
into your next level of power and the
more you actually betray yourself by not
speaking up when maybe someone in a
restaurant is serving you and they're
not being polite or maybe a client is
being disrespectful or maybe someone on
the street is doing something that is
dishonouring your humanity every single
time you swallow what you most need to
say you actually lose power you actually
become more and more impotent as a
leader as a producer and as a human
being I mean because you know this we
give away our power to the things that
we avoid and so what I want to do in
this mastery session is just remind you
that the hard talks when you actually
speak up are when you grow in power and
you actually not only grow
empower you build intimacy in the in the
relationship I mean just think about it
when you actually speak up with someone
and you tell them how you're feeling and
you tell them what's most important to
you well if it's the right relationship
one that's meant to be in your life
whether it's professional or personal
that is really a gateway into the other
person having the permission to open up
as well and then you have to mature
people talking about what's really most
important versus sidestepping the truth
so I want to walk you through a number
of strategies that will really help you
get traction on this concept of speaking
up when your voice is shaking having the
difficult conversations so that you grow
in your power you become a better leader
and you become even better human being
number one listen deeply first so let's
say you're having a conversation with
someone and you say can we sit down and
talk about something that's really
important to me
tell the person initially what you want
to talk about what's bothering you and
then have the wisdom to listen deeply
right after that and I love this
physical cue I mean I've seen a lot of
the best leaders on the planet they
understand that the best communicators
are all about listening not talking and
they have the physical cue that I've
observed and I just want to offer to you
the best leaders often do this when
someone else is talking to go and that's
almost like a physical cue to remind
yourself to listen deeply because the
larger idea is really this when you
listen to another human being from the
fullness of your presence it's one of
the high acts of honoring another human
being you want your teammates to grow
listen to them you want your children to
open up in their love for you their
self-confidence listen to them you want
to build a culture of high performers
stop talking so much and get brilliant
at listening deeply and so this first
tactic is simply this after you've said
well here's what's important to me and I
just wanted to let you know what I've
observed start listening and let the
other person do the talk
number two remember this incredibly
important brain tattoo you can say
whatever you want so long as you say it
with respect that's so important I want
to say it suggest it to you twice you
can say whatever you want so long as you
say it with respect I mean if someone
has been rude to you in a coffee shop if
someone has been late for dinner and
it's upset you because you believe that
punctuality is a leadership virtue you
can say whatever you want so long as you
say it with respect if your friend is
late for dinner and it's important to
you that they're on time well if you
lash out at them and say why were you
late you know I'm angry that's going to
put them into attack mode which is going
to cause them to be defensive but if you
say to them you know Johnny or Ravi or
what a Mary whatever their name is if
you say you know what thank you so much
for joining me for dinner before we get
started and enjoy this incredible meal
if I may I just like to share something
with deep respect punctuality is so
important to me and I've been waiting
for here for half an hour and your time
is valuable and my time is valuable and
I'd be ever so grateful if when we get
together you would respect my time just
like I want to respect your time you've
said it with respect look how powerful
that is and if it is a healthy person
versus a talk to toxic person they're
going to appreciate you being so
truthful and you're also going to teach
them the punctuality matters so the
second tactic is you can say whatever
you want to a teammate to an employee to
a customer to a family member so long as
you say it with love and respect number
three be clear in your communication a
lot of people you know we are trying to
say something in a hard talk having a
difficult conversation but we're dancing
around the issue be clear be precise
give examples you know say to that
person
here are the here's what happens when
you do this and here are specific
examples and then you are going to be
very clear to the other
then the final thing is let go of the
issue once the other person is
understood what's important to you once
you've got it out of your system let it
go and move on with the next level of
your day the next level of the
relationship the next level of your life
there are too many people that are stuck
in the past there's no way you're going
to build a gorgeous future if you're
living in the past so I hope it's been
helpful to you the big idea is simply
this hard conversations build your power
as a leader as a performer and as a
human being
hi it's Robin I invite you to subscribe
to this podcast and definitely go over
to Robin Sharma comm for more
information tools and resources a
mastery lead performance living
world-class level
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